Christmas Ponderings

I finally awoke without a swollen throat! Just some sniffing and coughing now and then but how good it is to sip my morning coffee without a grimace. I'll continue with my tea toddies and extra vitamin C to keep infection from returning.

Next week is the "end of semester" week that I work so I need extra strength. I know they were concerned about my health (for good reason) so believe me, I plan to be healthy. I need that week of work this year and I can handle one week shelving textbooks. At the same time, it has been such a blessing seeing needs met. Whoever was responsible for the Charlie's Soap box appearing on my porch... THANK YOU!

I have mentioned many times that I was not a good receiver. For one thing, it requires humility and a humble spirit and I'd much prefer God working on my, um... giving and leadership skills? But He knows what part of the marble has to be chipped away to present me complete before the Father. Hopefully He won't say something like, "You should have seen what I had to start with!".

I've already written about the list I make each year, those things I would like to do during the Christmas Season. This year I knew they would have to be simple and costing very little (or nothing) so it has been quite easy to feel blessed.

My little Charlie Brown Goodwill tree looks amazing. Proof you can "glam up" something quite simple. I have enjoyed morning quiet times and evenings cuddled on the sofa with the tree lit in the corner.

I now have a pretty lace tablecloth on the dining table. It makes it look festive all the time, as if we were ready for an evening for putting on the Ritz. Christmas music fills the background and time is spent with books or a good movie.

There are gift bags under the tree, filled with gifts for the guys from The New England Contingent. Of course, I have mine already since I had to bag and wrap them (Steph sent everything home with Christopher in one huge bag when they met in Maryland).

They included the gift I picked out while we were in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. It is now propped up on my bookshelf... a framed reproduction of old fashioned needlework with the words from Psalm 107:8 in simple stitches. I know, I should have waited until Christmas but it is so cute.

I love giving and receiving gifts from Stephanie. For her birthday, I sent her a package of small items I'd been collecting for sometime. It amazed both of us how everything sent was much wanted and needed, even the gloves I had purchased on clearance after Christmas last year! One of the gifts she sent me is Lavender Spray which I can hardly wait to use... it is under the tree. I didn't use such restraint to display the needlework.

I encouraged her to spend money this year. Really! (They are already great savers.) I truly believe in investing in the home and children with good quality toys and household items in prosperous years. They also found a good quality artificial tree, purchased in preseason sales. Their old one was dangerously "tippy" for a home with four active children. Of course, Grammies would think that money well spent. :)

When one has made quality purchases in good years, if seasons of limited ability to purchase come, there is already a tree and decorations that warm the heart and no money has to be spent... toys like Play Mobile and Lego's, classic books, board games, music, warm quilts, good quality cookware, tools for Dad, etc. Gifts given for years of use.

At the same time, managing their expectations with quality instead of quantity. Children receiving everything they ask for... too many packages at Christmas and Birthdays... will not know how to handle adversity. Some may never have to but I'm thinking many will.

Perhaps the greatest gift we can give our children (other than a heritage of faith) is an appreciative heart and freedom from excess... simplicity... quality vs. quantity... people vs. things... an afternoon baking cookies... conversation over coffee (with the older child)... a game of Candy Land played with the preschooler... time.

Could use your prayer

I'm going through somewhat of a crisis here at home. It's always difficult when one deals with unexpected news but even more during the Christmas season. I'm trying my best to spend time in prayer and continue on making our home festive for the guys (and Sasha). :)

I appreciated listening to Beth Moore's teaching on Wednesdays With Beth (Life Today, James Robison's show) yesterday. She mentioned just having come through a serious trial and appreciating the fact such times draws us closer to God because we have to cling to Him for answers.

I've been experiencing some health problems (all most likely the result of my not going to the doctor because I am uninsured... the county clinic keeps pushing back my appointment... hopefully I will be able to get in the last week of December), my husband's health was worse this year, I still miss my cat, and yesterday we received the news that our mortgage is going up by hundreds of dollars each month for the next year... a small amount due to property tax increases, mostly because of the part-time work my husband and I did this past year.

Our mortgage is through the government because of his Disability. We tried to fight the decision, explaining that the amount they are raising our mortgage is about what we MADE last year. My husband explained that the amount they are raising our mortgage by is what we use for food. However, we have learned that government rules often make little sense. (Like the fact they took away our insurance when my husband was placed on a medical disability...???).

I am only sharing this because I get so curious when people say they are going through a crisis and then don't share what it is. I know there are those who are in so much worse situations than us. I think so often of my friend who lost her husband and her married son in a fiery car accident a few years ago. I think of the family in our community who lost two of their children when their van was hit by a drunk driver. What a world we live in when Christmas shoppers are gunned down at the mall.

I know there are readers of this blog who are facing their own crisis. I love to receive your e-mails, to be able to pray for you and encourage you that God really is in control. I started reading a book last night, one I had purchased at a recent library sale. It is by Stu Webber called Spirit Warriors, a Soldier Looks at Spiritual Warfare. I have skimmed through a couple of his books before, he writes mostly for men but this book is written for men and women( recommended by Dennis Rainey). It's interesting how this book came to me at such a time as this. God didn't stop the crisis but He did give me a wonderful teacher... a pastor and former soldier who understands what it is like to be in the trenches. I'm only a quarter of the way through it but I have already found great peace (and understanding).

Yes... I have been through similar crisis before. None of us can reach our fifties without having battle scars. (Frankly, in this day and age, I know of some five year olds with such scars!) As Pastor Weber reminds us, we are in the midst of the war of the ages... the Universal war between good and evil. We have an Enemy.

I believe that's why so many of us love a good Story... one where the Hero battles for us and Good overcomes Evil. I am thankful that even though physically I feel so weak at times, I have a very strong King and his might Warrior Angels. I'm thankful that my God can supply all my needs according to His riches in Glory. It is through my weakness that He shows His strength.

It has been difficult this past year at times. My husband's illness affects his emotions and I've had to learn all over again to show mercy and compassion to one who can be challenging to live with during those seasons (as I shared with my friend, Linda... my husband is my ministry). My son is a great young man but is still "in training". I'm certain God feels the same way about me, shaking His head and thinking how challenging I can be and reminding Himself that I am still a pilgrim going through this world... one that is in training for Eternity.

I always have to remember that people are not the enemy. Not my husband, not the people at the USDA, not the appointment desk at the clinic, not the crazy drivers on the By Pass or the cranky cashiers at the store (I TRY not to be!). That's what the enemy of our souls wants us to do, to get upset with each other rather than come together in agreement that God has everything under control.

So please, when you are saying your prayers today, I'd appreciate a prayer for my family. I also can share an answer to prayer! This week we received the title to a beautiful used car, a gift from my son-in-law's parents. We are making the decision this week if we're going to just use this car or try to keep it and our aged Dodge. Regardless... we are so thankful and excited for this gift.

On this side of Eternity, we can never understand the road God allows us to travel. We have His promises to hold closely to us. I truly believe (without a doubt) that it is in the trials of life that we grow into the people He wants us to become. I've decided never to waste a trial. I long ago decided, too, that I must live my life the opposite of what the enemy would expect. So... last night I made a delicious dinner for the guys of slow cooked chuck roast with mushroom gravy, homemade mashed potatoes, mixed veggies, and a Kentucky Derby Pie. Today I may just tweak the Christmas decorations and send out the Christmas cards to my husband's elderly aunts.

Life of beauty... in the midst of the storms...

Salt, light, a cool cup of water

I love this...from the Words in Red*...

I tell you the truth,
anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name
because you belong to Christ
will certainly not lose his reward.
Mark 9:41

and

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:13-16

When I was in my 20s, I thought being salt and light was all about evangelism and changing the entire world. I'm glad there are still those with that great vision and a calling for a lifetime.

When I was in my 30s, I thought we could be salt and light and change the world through politics and social action. I'm also glad there are still those with that energy and enthusiasm to tackle this difficult arena.

In my 40s, I became a homeschool mom (beginning the second grade year) around the same time my daughter was starting college (actually...one entered kindergarten the same day the other started college). I also began to notice health challenges during this time, which later developed into full fledged juvenile diabetes and thyroid disease. My world became "smaller" as my energy level plummeted.

When my daughter was an only child, it was very easy to combine family, career, "ministry", etc. It just...worked...and I know I was in the will of God. I look back to those days and I'm in awe of my younger self...with full realization when one is within the grace and calling of God...one can perform amazing things, like family and work!

So what am I saying? Our calling to be "salt and light" in this world is always a given but it changes with the various seasons of our life. One who is single has many more options than one who has children at home. One who has great financial resources has more freedom than one living on a limited income. The person who has been blessed with the gift of a great education has options their friend with a GED doesn't have.

Each of us has individual gifts that we use in the season of life which we find ourselves. But...it's all about that old 60's phrase...Bloom Where You are Planted. It's what you do with what you have...where you are...that the Words in Red are all about. It's also about blooming where you are planted and not coveting your neighbors gifts and opportunities. :)

So...how am I being salt and light to the World right now? Well, I sit here and type out my thoughts and details of my life and I'm absolutely amazed there are people who read what I have to say (although sometimes I cringe when I see my Bloglines subscriber numbers go down and smile when they go up!).

However, for the most part I see Coffee Tea Books and Me as a chat with those like minded people, fellow sojourners on this journey of life...and giving a cup of water can be providing a cozy place where one can read and know they are not alone. :)

I use my baking and cooking gifts as a way to show God's love. I know you won't find it in either of the books of Corinthians (I've looked)...I have the spiritual gift of cookies. Uh huh... Just ask some of the teenagers I've known through the years.

I have a God given gift to have good, long lasting friendships with those who are not even close to the same religious and political views I hold. I've never taken out the Four Spiritual Laws with one of my dear friends (although I have told her we'll ask the Messiah when he comes if this is his first or second coming to earth). I've provided cookies for lots of family events, including a promise of cookies and fudge for the twins upcoming (I can't believe it)...high school graduation party. My son is their gentile "son".

I've had friends who are atheists, agnostics, cranky Christians, "backslidden" Christians, and Christians who just don't "get" other Christians. I think it has to do a lot with my childhood and upbringing and how I came to be a person of Faith...I understand from whence they come. (Which is probably why one of my favorite authors is Philip Yancey!).

I can be salt and light by bringing the landscapers working on my neighbors lawn cold bottled water on a very hot day. I am always salt and light when I make make a cup of green tea for my husband at night or a smoothie for my son when he is tired. I believe in taking very good care of our "furry kids" so I make certain the water and kibble containers are filled for the kitties...another cup of water given in His name. After all, it was He who knew our need for the unconditional love we receive from the members of our family with fur.

So what am I trying to say? For one thing, we don't have to reach the world to be salt and light. There are famous people who have been given a great task to do, one which affects the entire nation or the world. Most people are called to reach their family and their neighborhood ...perhaps their community.

We have different seasons in our lives. I think it is wise to do some pondering once in awhile...thinking of past options and looking forward to future opportunities to be the hands of Christ in this world. When we are walking in our calling and in our giftedness, then what we are doing as salt and light may cause us to be physically exhausted at times but it will be easy in that...we'll love doing it. My life has not turned out at all like I thought it would but when I look back...I see His leading and His gifts in the appropriate season.

Also...no matter what our official gifts or callings, we can all give a cup of cold water to a dry world. There will always be an opportunity awaiting us if we just keep our eyes and ears open. I love what Franklin Graham says quite often...that he doesn't just give food or the Gospel...he gives food and the Gospel, for it is only together that the hungry can come to Christ.

One of my agnostic friends told me...many years ago...it wasn't Christ he rejected, it was Christians. We all have an opportunity to change the world by changing one mind about what it means to walk with Christ...really...honestly...with love...and compassion. To be salt, light, and a cool drink of water to a world that is falling apart around us.

*The words in red in the New Testament or those spoken by Christ.

May you have a very blessed Palm Sunday, my friends. Today at church, one of the men read directly from the Word starting at the section where Jacob and his sons entered Egypt (after being invited by Joseph), through all the plagues and the exodus out of Egypt. It took almost the entire sermon time.

I will be pondering this section of Scripture as Passover begins this week.

These are the good old days

I normally don't write on Sunday but I've had ponderings going through my thoughts, so much so, I must get them on paper...so to speak. :)

I finished putting up our tree last night and getting it all nicely decorated. It really is a tad bit like a tall Charlie Brown tree. Especially considering the one that got away (that broke while we were moving a few years ago). However, this one is sufficient to hold plenty of nostalgic ornaments. Holding court over the family room is the folk art tree topper angel my daughter bought me a number of years ago. With the angel, ornaments, lights, and wooden cranberries wrapped around it, the little ole' tree looks downright regal.

I once again listened to Christmas music from the TV and enjoyed the peace and quiet of music, Christmas memories and the soft snore of our "fluffy" cat. When they were little kittens, I'd never have gotten away with decorating the tree with them in the room. Just too much fun stuff to bat around and run after. These days, with the three of us now middle aged ladies, we take things a little more slowly.

I was thinking this morning of one of my favorite Christmas memories. We were hosting a party for my daughter's college "Christian fellowship" and it was a near perfect evening. There were two trees all decked out, the fireplace was glowing, each downstairs room had been decorated for Christmas and held the sights and senses of the Season. There was a lot of food, the scent of the hot spiced apple cider, glowing lights and laughter.

Near the end of the evening, one of the young men came up to me and thanked me. He said this evening was the nostalgia he will always remember when he thinks of Christmas. Each year, for someone, we are creating the good old days.

One doesn't get to be fifty-plus without having had some difficult Holiday seasons. There have been years of illness, deaths in the family, financial crisis, being "away from home", and just plain old depression. Last year I wanted to overlook Christmas completely but God finally got through to me. Even though the move was coming up the week after Christmas and I had no idea how I was going to physically handle it, He led me to Goodwill one day where I found the Charlie Brown tree. It had been a display model for Target, it was cheap, it needed a home as much as I needed to find a tree at the last minute, and it turned out to be incredibly easy to put together.

Once again, He had to remind me we do not depend on our emotions to make Christmas, He has already made the Season. It doesn't matter if the government does not allow Nativity scenes at the courthouse if we do not celebrate the Nativity in our homes. So...even though this year finds me feeling the affects of a chronic illness, my home celebrates the most wonderful Event the world has ever known (with the exception of the Resurrection but we will celebrate it come Spring).

My mother was raised in a home where Christianity meant rules and she was told constantly she didn't live up to them. So...she didn't. When I later became a Christian, she was horrified. She thought I'd turn into...them. No...this is still the woman who wants I Can See Clearly Now sung at her funeral. (Not spiritual but what amazing truth when you stop to think about it.)

I love all of the season. I am told I get that from my father. I don't remember much about him except for feelings. Feelings of love, acceptance, joy; the pleasure that comes from flowers, and animals, and certain types of music...and Christmas. He loved Christmas! I embrace it all, bring it on... From the classical chorals to Elvis singing Blue Christmas! From White Christmas to The Muppet's' A Christmas Carol. I love Silver Bells (because the song reminds me of "going downtown" to shop at Christmas as a child, before there were malls) and Brenda Lee's Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. It reminds me of my older brothers and sisters, and their 50's music.

We have to look past the emotions when the years are not perfect. They seldom are, we are fortunate if we have one or two "perfect" Christmas seasons in a lifetime. Instead, we celebrate Christmas by faith during those times we do not feel like celebrating. We remember that these are the good old years for our children. The college students who were at that party are now around age thirty and older, many have their own children now.

It is especially important to do those things we have "always done" when the years are not perfect. God has given us the gift of Christmas, a magic time full of twinkle lights and expectations, colors and scents given to us at no other time of the year. I believe at Christmas, we see a slight hint at Eternity. The expectation of Christmas Day is a lesson in expecting His first Advent...and His Second still to come.

Seasons of life

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

This verse has been making its way through my mind the past couple of days. It is interesting that the Autumn season is winding down as God has been showing me changes of seasons in my own life.

I have to admit at times to being like Eve. I could live in Perfection and still wonder if there isn't "something better"...out there. For me lately, I have desperately missed having both my children in my life regularly (not to mention grandchildren). I think Autumn and the upcoming Holidays especially showcase vacuum areas in our life. You notice the empty chair at the dinner table during this time; whether the chair belonged to a loved one gone on to be with the Lord, a loved one living in another part of the country or perhaps...a much desired child yet to be born. I have had all three over the years.

Living with three preschoolers in the house has reminded me of the seasons of our lives. With little ones around, it is not as easy to ponder what one wants to write on their blog. (These ponderings came about while waiting for my son at the library.) Preschoolers in the house make for constant cleaning, or, as this Grammie has done...I'll clean when they leave. You have to watch preschoolers carefully so they don't eat the kittie's kibble. Everything breakable has been placed at new heights. I'll be finding objects in the most unusual places for the next few weeks, having been tucked away in the closest hiding place. It has been a very different world than I'm used to lately.

Of course, there are also more giggles and hugs than I've had since the last time they visited. My daughter and I have enjoyed visiting our favorite restaurants and thrift shops. She cooked a delicious dinner and set the dining table with Grandmother's china and beautiful candles just as she would when she lived at home before marriage. Of course, this time, it was her son blowing out the candles instead of her brother. I visited the playground at the park for the first time in...hmmm...since the last time they visited when it was warm? I've watched Mr. Rogers DVDs and Noggin on the TV. I remember now how much laundry there is when there are small children around. Does the term...mountain...sound familiar.

God has been gently reminding me I'm where He wants me now. To wish for that which was in the past is telling Him the present grace is not enough. To long for what is not in my life is to say He has not provided all He has promised. Today is the gift He has given and to spend time longing for that which is not there is not unlike complaining that Autumn will soon be ending and the cold of Winter is just around the corner. The seasons of our life must change just as the seasons of nature change. It is in those changes that Life continues as planned before the Creation of the world. We can be content in the knowledge that He is in control of all seasons, ours and the world around us.

Pray for the children

My son and I sat together this afternoon, not believing what our eyes were seeing as we watched Fox News. The police officer was giving a description of the "horrific scene" at the little one room schoolhouse where children were shot execution style.

Execution style...not something you would associate with a one room schoolhouse or the Amish. My mind creates pictures of what those little girls went through. I turned to my son and told him, "If they aren't safe in an Amish schoolhouse, where are our children safe?". Then, I read this evening, a similar thought on the Crunchy Con blog.

I watched this afternoon as sobbing mothers were comforted by friends and family. Their little girls still in the schoolhouse, "evidence" that could not be moved.

I love this country. I fly American flags all Summer on my porch. I know we live in a great land. It is just beyond my comprehension that we could have three school shootings in approx. a week's time. Especially this one...little girls who left home this morning, skipping and jumping, hugs and kisses given to mommies and daddies. Little girls who either won't come home or who are in the hospital in critical condition. Dolls waiting for their girls to arrive home. Places empty at the dinner table.

We need to do some serious praying.

Grace filled words

A word aptly spoken is
like apples of gold
in settings of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

I have had time to ponder much in the past couple of days. Every once in awhile, the diabetes reaches out, grabs me, and brings me to the sofa, as it did yesterday. Last year when the same symptoms hit, I was in intensive care for two days, on an insulin drip (or whatever technical term they call it). Thankfully, I'm fine now. I'm a wee bit on the weak side this evening but it is good to be up and around.

Since I couldn't do anything or go anywhere, I had plenty of time to just...think. My ponderings were of many things including what I'd like to share over our cyber fence. I want to share so much about beauty, hospitality, decorating, homeschooling and living the Christian life. I share from my own life and experiences. These past few days, my thoughts have come back often to the lack of grace filled words in our relationships and in our surroundings.

We live in a difficult world, each day brings more challenges. We're in this life together. There are going to be misunderstandings and regrets. There will be disagreements over theology, child rearing, politics, baptism, the timing of (and if there is) a rapture, war, rumors of war, what to do about the environment and world hunger, etc. People are going to hurt us and we're going to hurt people because none of us are perfect. However, I don't want to be someone else's bad day.

So many times through the years, I've seen words typed out and printed on this medium that should never have left our personal thoughts. I'm not talking about pornographic thoughts. I'm talking about sharp tongues coming out through quick fingers online. When both my children were growing up, I often said, "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all". People have been crushed because of words spoken at the wrong time. I'm saddened by the words I read online when brethren speak against brethren (and sister-en).

I mentioned before that my spiritual mentors were Francis and Edith Schaeffer. I've read many times that Francis Schaeffer had one real regret about his life and that was the disagreements that led to relationships and friendships falling apart when he was younger. The older he became, the more he realized it was important to watch our words. I read that when I was younger and I didn't understand. I do now. I learned the hard way that just because I have an opinion, doesn't mean I have to give it. People are more important than my opinion. Words can cause people great pain. Keeping quiet when we want to lash out is perhaps the ultimate sign that we are maturing as Christians.

It is even more important in our homes to have grace filled words. Family members can irritate us faster than anyone in the entire world. They know our buttons and how to push them. It is so easy to open our mouth and "say something" when perhaps it would be better to scream in a pillow until the feelings calm down. There is the need to take a walk or just to remove ourselves from the situation. To breath deeply, listen to music, to pray. To wait until emotions have calmed down to use words.

We live in a world where we are assaulted by words we would rather not hear, words that do not edify our souls but rather, degrade and defile us. If we can do nothing else in our daily lives, we can come prepared with words that are "apples of gold in settings of silver". If you believe the Bible (and I do), then we will give an account of our words someday. I pray that mine will bring life, love, and peace to those who come across my path whether they are in person are over the cyber fence.