Preparing for and living with unemployment (Re-post)

Originally posted March, 2009

I've written before about the biggest mistake we made during our first year when we ran out of unemployment and had no income. We assumed my husband would find another job quickly so we used our savings to keep up present lifestyle. We should have cut back on everything extra in the budget the very day he was laid off. It would have helped a great deal in the long run.

Losing all or part of the family income even for a short time can be difficult. However, when the weeks turn into months it becomes a crisis. Not only does the money run out but it changes every part of our daily life.

For instance, most families aren't used to being home together all day, every day... in the best of times. These are the people you are suppose to enjoy the most in the entire world but after awhile you develop a rather severe twitch as they get on your nerves and visa versa. Even if you homeschool and you're together a lot, when a lack of income is part of the family equation... even homeschoolers are affected.

Here are some things I learned through two separate years of long term unemployment (each year more than twelve months):

• It's a lot easier to live through unemployment the less money you owe beyond your rent or mortgage.
• It helps a lot to already know how to shop for less and cook frugal meals.
• Having a good pantry and savings account to cover necessary bills obviously helps.
• If your kids are used to shopping each week and having to have all the latest... clothes, electronics, etc... there will be strife.
• If your kids learn nothing else but how to live without all the latest "stuff" and that keeping up with the proverbial Jonses is a myth... the pain of unemployment will be worth it in the long run.
• God answers even the prayers of little children.
• A good home library, some board games, and a DVD collection of family friendly movies will prove as valuable as gold.
• The same is true of a really good family friendly radio station.
• The library is the best use of our government's tax money... ever.
• You find out who your true friends are the longer you are unemployed.
• The Amish have it right... the more Community we have developed, the easier the strain is on each family.
• You begin to learn how many unnecessary trips in the car you take when you're putting $5.00 of gas in the car at a time.
• The more free places your community has to take advantage of... the better.
• When we lived in Michigan, a $20.00 state parks pass was the smartest money spent all year.
• The less money one has to spend, the more creative one becomes... that can be a good thing.
• Talking each month to creditors will make the difference between terrible credit and not-so-bad credit.
• Your children will pick up on how you are handling the crisis... if you are fearful and complaining, so will they... if you learn to give your fears to God and expect an answer... so will they.
• Money problems can bring a family closer together as they pray together and see God answer prayer.
• Unemployment and general financial crisis bring with them forced simplicity.
• Unemployment can cause you to learn new frugal skills yourself and with your children, and force you to depend on the One who said He would meet all your needs... instead of depending on yourself.
• Life is easier when you have money to pay when the car breaks down, when you can buy anything you want at the grocery store, when you can go out to eat all the time, when you can purchase the latest clothes... easier... but having needs answered through prayer brings long term faith.
  
• The longer you are without an income, the more it becomes necessary to find creative ways to have fun as a family.
• A meal of $1.00 burgers and shared fries when money is hard to come by becomes a banquet to those who can't afford to eat out.
• The more simple you live before being unemployed, the easier it will be to live on less.
• Unemployment is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Especially if it draws you closer to your family, your friends, and your God.
• Unemployment can be very hard, but

God is still in control.

And please remember, if you are fortunate enough to have plenty... share with those who don't. You may just be the person who provides for a need so a family can know God is searching the Earth... high and low... to answer their prayer.

To Carpe Diem or not to Carpe Diem (Re-post)

Originally posted June, 2009 

I love the phrase Carpe Diem... seize the day! Wikipedia says the poet Horace (who made it famous in his poem) used it as... "enjoy, make use of, seize".  As one who feels time has been fast forwarded, I like that definition.

I am enjoying being stuck at home due to absolutely no money. No, really (which is probably why I love reading Laine's Letters so much... she had to do the same). I have a letter sitting on the breakfront ready to be sent but I don't have the money for a stamp.

Now, I'm not telling you that to feel sorry for me. I'm really fine as I am surrounded by beautiful nature, my diet is limited but healthy, and my son put gas in the car for me when he received his paycheck. He asked me to help pick out a bouquet of roses for his friend he's taking to the homeschool prom this evening and told me to buy a few groceries at the same time. He even let me buy a Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi and a pint of half-n-half.

Hehehe, I found a bouquet of gorgeous pink roses in a display which were half the price of similar roses in the refrigerator display. We came home and I "tweaked" the bouquet to make them look quite uptown. Doing things the frugal way can be fun.

It all becomes about attitude... if I allowed myself to get upset that all my favorite garage sales have now come and gone without me even having a dollar to spend... then I'd be ungrateful for everything I have. God has never failed to provide everything I needed, even if life was uncomfortable now and then.

It's all about seizing what is good about the day we live and corralling our expectations...

My New Mexican friend was telling me recently about a couple they knew who were just thrown out of their third rental house in a row for not paying rent. They had called to see if she and her husband could take their horses for awhile (the answer was no). What amazes her is the lifestyle this couple expects as both work but live far beyond what reality should be for their situation. They do not pay their rent but they have a brand new truck, horses, and other luxuries. Carpe Diem is good when within our means.

But then there are those who are just the opposite... my father-in-law had a Depression mentality and went far beyond being frugal. Even though they had plenty of money in savings and absolutely no debt outside of their mortgage, they rarely did anything to make beautiful memories. The time our children are at home is fleeting, one honestly does look back when the youngest turns eighteen and wonders where the years went.

My husband and his siblings have few good memories of growing up, even though they had a stable home life in a pleasant middle class neighborhood. When my father-in-law died, he had plenty of money in the bank but his children didn't shed tears at his funeral. I did, which shocked everyone as he hadn't treated me well... I guess having married into the family I "saw" him differently.

Don't fear the future. If you have an income and are financially stable... Carpe Diem! Who knows what next year will bring? Well, we do know the family will not be at these ages. Of course, I'm not talking about going into debt or spending the mortgage payment to go have fun. Don't buy a brand new truck and horses if you can't pay the rent.

No... but if you have a little "extra"... make some memories. I didn't have my father with me very long. His work was seasonal and he knew he'd be out of a job each winter. But I have never had to go into counseling due to my father for in the short ten years we had together he never showed fear about what life would bring.... instead he planted flowers, made furniture, cooked meals when Mom worked late, caused me to laugh, cried when Patsy Cline died (and I cry when I hear her music), made it impossible for me to see cows or horses when driving on a highway without remembering how excited he became when viewing animals, and planted those seeds I'd need later in life... our ability to enjoy life is not dependent on our bank balance.

Be careful... be frugal where necessary... become more self sufficient... try your best to stay away from debt... fill your recipe box with delicious frugal recipes... re-read favorite books... watch uplifting and warm hearted movies... hug your furry friends... sip tea from a beautiful English tea cup... organize your pictures while remembering pleasant days... sit on your deck or porch and watch the sun come up while enjoying the morning cup of coffee... surprise the family with a chocolate cake for no reason whatsoever... bake bread and serve it warm with real butter... live life... teach your children how the good life can be enjoyed on a budget.

Don't be afraid of the future.

Carpe Diem. Your children will thank you.