Sunday Afternoon Tea - Ponderings on Fatigue and the Changing World

I haven't said much about it but earlier this year, my fatigue level and some other symptoms that come with two auto immune diseases began to increase.  It is something that happens with a chronic health condition, one can go a couple of years and everything stays the same and then almost overnight, there are more challenges.

I'm okay but it has helped to remember Elisabeth Elliot writing about "Do the next thing".  The phrase is from an old Saxon legend but it inspired a poem by that name which Elisabeth loved.  I expect many of you have read it:

Do it immediately, do it with prayer, do it reliantly, casting all care. Do it with reverence, tracing His hand who placed it before thee with earnest command. Stayed on omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing, leave all resultings, do the next thing.”

While the English is a tad old fashioned, it still speaks to the heart of a person who must rely on doing just the next thing.  In Elisabeth's book when she shares the phrase and poem, her husband, missionary Jim Eliot, has just been martyred.  When she asks God for wisdom, she remembers this phrase and receives wisdom on what to do next.  She took their baby and resumed the work they had been doing.

My situation is not so dramatic but it does require prayer and listening to God.  Fatigue was the first symptom that sent me to the doctor over twenty years ago.  It wasn't all that life changing at the time.  I had enjoyed power walking two and even three miles a day and I noticed it was becoming difficult to even walk a mile.

Over the years, I have experienced a slow increase in symptoms until now, I must stop and rest quite a lot.  I can still fix dinner but we also keep a few frozen meals and even a couple frozen pizzas in the deep freeze for those evenings I am too tired to cook.  Fortunately, we have been having a lot of salads for dinner and I think I could make them in my sleep.

I do laundry a little at a time, clean the house and wash dishes a little at a time, and do extra work on days I'm feeling better.  Thankfully, my husband has made our bed and cleaned the bathrooms since we were married.  I do not let him near the washer and dryer or I cringe to think what the laundry would look like.  You would think an engineer would know not to throw reds in with the whites.  

About a month or so ago, perhaps even six or seven weeks, I decided to make some changes in the Study to better utilize the space.  I hadn't done anything extra to it since it became my empty nest project.  I didn't want to change any of the large pieces of furniture but the smaller items were considered for other rooms and I wanted to make certain all the shelves and drawers were best utilized.

I started by removing the furniture I wasn't going to use anymore to other rooms and then brought everything in that I wanted to replace it.  It took three weeks of stuff sitting all over the Study to finish what was started... all a little at a time.  But it is now in the tweaking stage, which does not require tripping over anything on the way to my desk.

That is pretty good for what once looked like an impossible task.  So far, a box along with four grocery bags full of stuff have gone to Goodwill.  I worked on it when I had the energy and it was always a "do the next thing" way of working through the process.

I have never been a depressed person, frustrated but not depressed.  Tired but not depressed.  Stomping my foot and asking God just what He thinks He is doing to me at times... but even then, not depressed.  But I have struggled with it this year.

The current events in the world in general but our own country in particular have just worn me out emotionally and it is really hard when physically one has to move slowly.  I can no longer do those things I once did when frustration at politicians was building.  No joining, or handing out flyers, or meeting with like minded people to discuss options.  It just isn't possible, anymore.

I learn so much from watching videos of people who are prepping but I had to stop gardening a few years ago because of increased fatigue.  It became too difficult to walk out to the garden to even water it. It even became impossible to keep up with the container garden on the deck because of the terrible heat and humidity we have experienced off and on the past few months.

However, I have learned that there are still things I can do regularly and a little at a time.  It is still surprising what can be accomplished in ten minutes or so of work here and there.  Quite often little things can be crossed off the To Do list that have big consequences.

I have learned to pray about the political situations more than ever before.  It is far more enjoyable to pass out flyers or work with other women to influence voting but I have this feeling that prayer actually does a whole lot more than passing out flyers... and gosh does this world need prayer!

I can no longer garden, do any kind of canning, etc. but I can be diligent about paying attention to what we have in the pantry.  This is especially important when more shortages are expected, higher prices, and... the cost of gasoline has gone up a couple dollars a gallon since the policies were changed in Washington.

I'm not sure but is it possible that physical fatigue can be made worse by emotional fatigue?  Just watching what is going on around us and feeling helpless? Obviously, we know that we have God on our side and we know how this all ends with His Kingdom being set up on the earth but still... the changes have come so fast.  Even to those of us who saw them coming.

I watched an interview with Al Mohler last week and he said that Christians are not optimistic and neither are they pessimistic... they are hope filled.  The blessed hope of knowing God is working all things out for His good and the future belongs to Him.  However, he also stated that the coming years will need Christians to stand firm in their beliefs as the culture becomes even more set against Christian values.

This is a reminder to cover our loved ones and friends in prayer.  Not only our children and grandchildren but those people who are called into any kind of ministry.  They all... we all... need prayer. 

I hope today's ponderings have not been too much of a downer.  It's just where I am right now.  Doing what God asks, a little at a time.  Thinking ahead and praying.  Lots of praying.  Creating Beauty in the midst of it all and reading good books.  Hopefully, I can write a Book Talk post very soon!

Image:  It won't be long until I can bring out the Mrs. Beaver tea cozy. We are so looking forward to cooler weather!