Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sunday Afternoon Tea

And let us not be weary in well doing:
for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Galatians 6:9

This has been a week where the weather acted as a perfect backdrop to my mood... dark with rain and drizzle. Normally I love rainy weather but the sadness of saying goodbye to my furry best friend along with various circumstances of life manifesting themselves at the moment... all came together to bring a heavy burden to my soul.

Friday evening I had one of those desires to "be alone where it is quiet" so I drove into town and parked in the Kroger parking lot near my former neighborhood. The rain pounding against the windshield made for a cozy cocoon in which to read the manuscript of my friend's new book. Although arriving by UPS for me to read and write a recommendation, God also used it to speak to my heart in that moment... He seems to be a Master Weaver like that.

Her words reminded me of changes in my own life. Although much wiser than I was in my youth, I miss the younger me. The man who was in charge of the Jesus People coffeehouse where I ministered in my late teen years would describe her as "Brenda runs in where angels fear to tread". :)

The circumstances which brought about deeper faith and trust also took away the innocent fearlessness that came with youth. I know that is common to life. I told a friend on the phone this week that I often say to my husband, "There is a reason they send young men to war".

I admit that it is a daily struggle between not so much faith and fear... but faith and weariness. St. Paul's words (inspired by the Holy Spirit) have spoken through two thousands years of trials and tribulations of life. One need not experience severe trials to feel like giving up.

Each day there are the little foxes which add up to frustration... like dropping a glass bottle of spaghetti sauce on the cement floor of the garage last week. (Sigh... all because one saw a spider the size of Texas crawl across the laundry basket.)

How do we keep filled with faith in the midst of life's circumstances? I am reminded of one of those "National Geographic Moments" (as Christopher calls them) which happened this past week. He and I were in the car together, the rain was such that it was a fine mist. We were slowing down to turn onto the gravel lane when we saw something in the distance. (Which would be the view shown in the header above.)

At first I thought it was the neighbor's dog but I quickly realized it was too large to be a dog. Christopher said it was a deer. Immediately after that, we both said... "Wow". For the animal turned just enough that we could see it was the most gorgeous, regal looking buck.

In the mist, the animal had an almost ghostly, ethereal presence. I must admit being thankful there was another person in the car or I would have wondered if I really saw a real buck or it was a figment of an overactive imagination.

While I sat in the car at the Kroger parking lot, my thoughts went back to that buck in the mist. In many ways it reminded me of life's journey. The journey is shrouded in mystery and the unknown but God's Word promises to be a Lamp unto my feet and a Light unto my path. If I don't take the time to pray and read the Word... I walk in darkness.

I do not want to grow weary in well doing. I thank God for good books and warm hearted people who encourage along the way...

Picture: Dessert dishes from 2008's Thanksgiving's table


matty said...

It was a week of darkness; it seems many of us were in that deep place. Today, though, the sun is shining. Hope it is there as well! I woke in the night thinking and your comment about sitting on the steps with your Bible and praying for courage came back to me. I whispered my prayer and slept until nearly 8 a.m. I needed both. Thanks for your quiet guidance!

Anonymous said...

Dear Brenda,
I read your blog daily but have never felt so strongly the urge to comment til now.
It was as if your post spoke to my own thoughts this past week.
I copied out the scripture passages and will refer to them.
Just knowing I am not alone in feeling the way I do has lightened my heart.
Thank you!
God bless,

scrappy quilter said...

I couldn't agree more than to what matty has said. Beautiful words to encourage us through the dark times. Hugs..

Sandpiper said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog and thanks for sharing what you wrote today. It spoke to my heart too and what a pretty header photo!

Anonymous said...

Ach, for a minute there I thought it was Bigfoot! But a buck is good, too. (o; Your description brought to mind Narnia Magic.

I did a quick on-line check of the NIV and NASB translations of Galations 6:9, since I am a person prone to physical near-fainting spells. It seems to me that the admonition is to not give up.

I'm so sorry for your dark days of grief. I hope the sun will shine for you again very soon.

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

Brenda, I am reminded of when it's raining down here below and when we get over the rainclouds it's nice and sunny. God is there and He is so aware of what we are going through. I suppose we need to go through all these trials so we will know He is the One that takes care of us, not ourselves. I feel like it is such a gift when He shows us glorious things like the buck. I have been praying my car would be in the doctor's parking deck. It's been there since a week ago last Friday when I went in the hospital and I had to turn it over to God because I couldn't do anything 150 miles away and not knowing who to call. When my husband brought me back to Atlanta today it was in place. Things like that show me He is watching over me. Praise His Name! Thank you for this precious post. You are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Dee from Tennessee

Another "homerun" post from you Brenda. Thanks so much.

Anonymous said...

I so appreciate your writing nearly every day! But I want to say that if you need some time off it would be ok; just let us know so we won't worry about you! Love,

Friend Debra

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing and being real, about how life is.

I have been worried and stressed some about this weekend...which has gone better than expected, though still with some things that were not the nicest. Though not unusual, considering.

Back in April I got a huge floater in one eye (which I did see a specialist about...and it could have ended up in retinal detachment but did not)and just last week, my vision finally cleared. And then on Thursday an even bigger one in my other eye...sigh. I will not have time, with company here, to see anyone until Wed. or later. I guess the good part is when it is finally cleared, it should not return. But with very blurred vision, it is not fun...the waiting that is!! Thankfully no pain. And such is life it seems. We seem to go from one thing to the next.

Blessings and glad you have places to find peace and quiet for a time.

Anonymous said...

My week was as they have been lately full of lots of wondering where life is going. I begin the week with some surgery which I am not looking forward to but will be glad to get it done. Your description of your week of darkness is something many of us can completely relate to. {{But we may never be able to put into words like you did}} I have by the grace of our God not had one for a while. Yet I know eventually I will. I seem to only get out of it after a long cry where I cry till I can't any more and it brings me out. Oh the crying is not just tears but a crying out to God. Not in any anger but to please help me see His plan in all of this, for His guidance and such. Sometimes though life seems to just gang up on us and one thing after the other piles on top and we cannot see the sun. Very thankfully we have The Son. Jody

moreofhim said...

Dear Brenda: Yes, God is SO good to lead us where we will be encouraged and blessed and I have found that this evening in reading this post. I, too, feel the same way right now. Life is difficult and there are many "thorns" that I am praying for my Lord to take away. You spoke my thoughts in this post and made me feel less alone. Sometimes when we suffer, we feel we are the only ones who are suffering. It's good to know there is someone out there who understands. You remind me to dig deep in God's Word for the answers and the comfort.

Thank you for such a beautiful blog and for blessing me.

God bless you - Julie