Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I was meant to hibernate

I have a lot in common with Yogi and Boo Boo, besides loving a good picnic basket. I was created to hibernate in the winter. Of course, with family responsibilities and the Good Book full of remarks about being slothful, I don't sleep away January and February... but I think about it.... and temptation comes every dark, cold morning when the alarm clock rings.

That explains why my eyes are still droopy and my head fuzzy after two cups of coffee. I'm thankful today's schedule permits me get a slow start. The pulled muscle is feeling much better but I'm giving the arm some rest for one more day. I have plenty of everyday maintenance housework and a list of projects that can be accomplished with no heavy lifting or reaching.

I mentioned in yesterday's post about talking to my daughter about her day. There is nothing like a house full of preschoolers to give one a "Perils of Pauline" type of day (when each child finds ways to get into "situations", including two year old Faith using her brother and sister's toothbrushes to scrub the toilet). I had to laugh as she explained everything that happened yesterday, so did her husband when she asked him to stop at the store and purchase toothbrushes on his way home. She didn't see the humor in it... yet. Hehehe... Perhaps they would be calmed by the blog's music, as Kimberly found with her little guy?

There are times I really do get unhappy about my life, those five minutes when I allow a pity party. With Christopher now a full fledged young man, I miss having kids around. I miss the fun homeschooling days (I don't miss teaching math... the blind leading the blind so to speak). There are days I remember the "comings and goings" of my daughter's friends and college group when we lived in our large house. I can wax poetic about weekends in Holland when Stephanie was very young and how the three of us loved walks along the pier and fine dining at restaurants. One doesn't often realize how special everyday life can be when our children are still at home.

However, I know I couldn't handle (physically at least) a day like Stephanie had yesterday. I'd be like Scarlett O'Hara and "take to my bed". It would take a week to recover. :) It is so easy to look at others and wish we had their health, their money, their wonderful vacations, their easy life. Then again, I have lived long enough to know perfect families are only an illusion.

I can't even trust my own memories. I see pictures of Christopher as a blond haired two year old (he is no longer a blond) and I remember how cute he was and how much fun we had together. Then when I really start to think back on those years, I also remember runs to the hospital in the middle of the night with spiked fevers, the throwing up every time he ate for weeks and weeks as a newborn, constantly running after him as he ran from morning to night, the fact that he didn't sleep through the night until he was eighteen months old, my husband's constant travelling for his job, and how lonely I felt in my neighborhood at that time (and most of our married life since we moved so often to follow my husband's career).

Instead I need to embrace the season in which God has brought me. There's a reason we think fondly of grandmother's house through the years... we can put "stuff" on the lower shelves, we can follow a recipe from beginning to end without interruption(s), we who do not have little feet running around and tiny hands touching everything often have extra time to ponder making our homes beautiful and our gardens flourish... as do women who have not been blessed with children, yet.

I think often of what could be accomplished if I didn't battle illness and a tight budget... why God would allow such challenges in my life. Then again, the need for rest makes it possible for me to have the very time needed for studying my Bible, praying, reading, working on projects while sitting, and just... pondering. Instead of battling that which cannot be changed, I can embrace what only I can do... because of the given circumstances. The need to be thrifty has often been the seed of creativity.

So... at 6:00 on cold mornings... I may think about animated bears and sleep... but God has given me another day. That alone should make me thankful.


Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Having my grandsons at their current ages for any length of time nearly does me in. LOL!

Your posts are always so calming and I feel refreshed just from having read one.

Don't hibernate for too long!

She'sSewPretty said...

Brenda, I hope your arm is feeling better soon. You always seem to put life in perspective for me. Thank you!

charlotte in canada said...

brenda, i have been catching up on a few of your posts, and i must say i do enjoy reading them so very much, they give me food for my soul and while i read it i feel such a calm and longing for more peace and less chaos in my life. it would be wonderful to see some pictures of your lovely space. you truly are a blessing