Wednesday, October 31, 2007

A chilly but beautiful autumn morning

My son left his laptop here at home so I'm taking full advantage of it. :)

On the days my son has college classes, I have to rise while it is quite early so I can get his lunch ready and make certain he eats a bowl of cereal. I also take his keys and start the car so the frost is off the windows by the time he heads out (it's a "mother" thing, our car defroster takes a long time to work). I don't mind at all, it is good to be able to serve another in such a simple way.

He has to be sitting in class at 8:00, it is a long drive in rush hour traffic, and I'll just say... he is not a morning person. On the days I don't need the car, I pour another cup of coffee after he has left, grab my quiet time basket (as Emilie Barnes suggests in her books), and usually read a prayer from the Valley of Vision first.

For some reason this morning, I was looking at the beginning of the prayer book and saw that the first prayer, called Valley of Vision, was written by the man who edited the book (all others are Puritan prayers I believe). I absolutely love that prayer, especially where he has written that the deeper our well, the brighter the stars appear above. My husband may never get this book back (but he knows where to find it).

I had to take a short break from my quiet time to take my insulin and nibble on a piece of orange cranberry nut bread that I pulled from the freezer. Delicious if I must say so myself! While in my kitchen, I looked out the window and saw a beautiful sunrise. For the second time in a week, the color wooed me outside (last week it was a sunset that caused my husband and I to walk to the edge of our gravel lane and watch in awe as the entire sky was painted in vibrant shades of pink and orange which made the colored leaves appear to glow... amazing was the beauty that early evening).

I walked to the county road once again, this time for our daily newspaper. Although the temperatures were quite cold, I decided to take grab a jacket and take a second cup of coffee to the little table on our deck and continue my quiet time there. Before I know it, the colored leaves will be gone and the deck furniture will be moved to the shed for the Winter. I don't always take the time for such an extended time of Bible reading, prayer, devotional reading, and a chapter or two in a book written for Christian women (currently the book by Nancy DeMoss). I needed it this morning.

My husband suffers with clinical depression (the roots coming from the extreme highs and lows and immune system crashes caused by the environmental & food allergies) and yesterday was a bad day for him. This time of year is always difficult as leaf mold (that which develops when the leaves are dropping from the trees) affects him severely. Stephanie and Christopher also are affected adversely by leaf mold.

So, Brenda, how can you sit on your deck enjoying the glories of God's creation when life is "less than perfect" right now? Because life is never perfect and rarely does a day go by without some kind of challenge. I need beauty in my surroundings even more on the "bad days" than when everything is "hunky dory" ( that spelling correct?). I prayed for him a lot yesterday and a friend and her husband ministered to him on the phone off and on all day (fortunately, they have a great calling plan).

My sister who was visiting reads my blog once in awhile. She's not a computer person, if I send a link to a particular post then her husband will click on it and bring her to the computer to read it, otherwise she doesn't go near his computer. I was telling her this weekend that what I want most is to let people see that life is what happens while we are waiting for perfection and that we can make our immediate surroundings beautiful without much money. Of course, the most important message is that Jesus is the One who allows me to live this life without getting too loopy. Christianity is not a religion, it is a relationship with a Person.

I should have mentioned that my brother-in-law who has been taken to a nursing home is the husband of my sister who lives in town. My other sister's husband (back in Tampa) is a "young" eighty-five year old. He is much older than Jean. I call him the "Old Coot", a term of affection I assure you. I continue to pray for his salvation.

Today I'll continue resting after working on organizing a few shelves in the garage (just by doing a little each day, those huge projects are easier to handle). I'm going to work on my "Jewels journal" this afternoon. I miss you, Jewels!

Thank you for all of your comments. I appreciate them so much, even if I don't get a chance to answer them. I could get used to typing away and reading my favorite blogs while sitting in this chair, too! :)


smilnsigh said...

I'm so glad that you can navigate on a lap top. You have me beat, doing so. My husband has one but... I try to stay away from it. :-)

One issue is... that his eyesight is poor and so, he has the setting to _big_! And it confuses me. But I certainly can't reset it, on him. So, I was never able to use it, when I had troubles with sitting here at my computer desk.

Glad you are a pro, with your son's laptop!!!

Yes, we do need beauty/joy more, when things aren't all hunky-dorey! Oh yes. In fact, that brings me right back to my constant refrain of... I found {and make my own} 'Pretty Blog Land,' for just that reason. Things are never hunky-dorey out in the world. I'd have an awful time existing, if I had to do so, out in the world, all the time.

I wish all of you well, at this cycle of a bad time of your husband's depression. It is a terrible thing, and very hard for family to understand and be kind, with and during. I'm sure there are many people who know of it, whether they comment so or not. :-)

Hugs to you,

DebD said...

I need beauty in my surroundings even more on the "bad days" than when everything is "hunky dory"

Oh, this is so true. I find great comfort in beauty, especially when life is frazzled and/or not so great. Its like a deep sigh.

Rosetta said...

Thank you for the reminder that it doesn't take a lot of money to enjoy the important things in life.
I love your blog. I just found it recently.

Anonymous said...

I really needed this post today. . . I am having a week just chock FULL of "challenges".
Nita in SC

Heather L. said...

Thanks for your post. It is so encouraging to hear from people whose life is, like mine, less than "hunky-dory". I'll be praying for you and your husband. Praise the Lord for His presence with us in this difficult journey of life.

Jenn V said...


Thank you for the reminder that we don't need to allow our circumstances to steal our joy! I am so sorry to hear about your husband's challenges. For many years I was prone to depression as well. And your upbeat attitude that you always display while dealing with your own health issues is such an inspiration to me. Thank you for blessing us with your posts.

Jenn V

Susan P. said...

Brenda, your words spoke to my heart once again. I just love what you said, "I want most is to let people see that life is what happens while we are waiting for perfection and that we can make our immediate surroundings beautiful without much money."

Becky K. said...

It is hard sometimes to come to grips with the fact that this life will never completely satisfy...we are temporarily here to do a specific you said you are praying for the salvation of those you love...this is prep for a *hallelujah* of an eternity. I am so thankful to have that to look forward to when things are just plain tough! I know you must be too...
I will keep your family in prayer and rejoice with you that you have that much needed support in friends and family.
Becky K.

Donetta said...

:) Big Hug!

Cathy said...

I enjoyed reading your reflections tonight. Your son is blessed to have such a wonderful mother. I'm sorry about your husband and sure hope he will be feeling better soon. I also have allergies, and October is a rough month for them. Many of us miss Jewels. You did encourage us with your sweet attitude.

Shelly @ thePINKbarn said...

I can so relate to what you were saying about the beauty of our surroudings. So many people miss out on so many miracles right in front of their eyes! I feel closer to God surrounded by His creation, on good days and bad. I will say a prayer for you husband tonight.........sweet dreams and blessings, Shelly

Carrie said...

Hi Brenda,
I am new to your blog, and very encouraged! Thank You!

Anonymous said...

< I could get used to typing away and reading my favorite blogs while sitting in this chair, too! >

Ha! I told ya. :)
I've had major, major bouts of depression over the years. I still deal with it occasionally, but it's not half what it used to be. I always dread winter because of the shorter, grayer days. I'd love to skip right from fall to spring.
Can your dh take anything to relieve at least some of his suffering? I hope he feels better soon, and that this year won't be so bad for him. I can understand some of what he's going through. Let us know how he's doing now and then so we can know how to pray for him.
My heart is with your precious family, allergies and all. :)

La Tea Dah said...

Lovely post --- a chilly autumn morning. You shared from your heart and it blessed me (and others too, I'm sure). AND. . .I am so glad to know I'm not the only mom who goes out to start the car for her son so the windows can be defrosted before he leaves for school! I totally 'get it'!

:) LaTeaDah

Vee said...

Okay, you and Lateadah officially qualify for the mothers of the year award!

Thank you for your always thoughtful posts filled with lots of food for thought.