Sunday, August 17, 2014

Sunday Afternoon Tea - What makes my home a sanctuary

I am learning it is necessary to filter just how much of the angst of the news carries through into my days.  For at times it is overwhelming how much the world has changed.

Oh, there is no sticking of ones' head in the sand or cupping the hands over the ears and humming so as to not know the grief and misery and anxiety around us.

But as there is enough to cause anxiety within the twenty-four hours that make up my own day, I've made it a goal through the years to make my home a place of sanctuary.  The one little part of the world I have some control over.

What is sanctuary to me may not be so much to you.  I have many friends whose idea of true joy is a houseful of children running in and out of the front door.  While I adore my grandchildren, my preferences these days are more... quiet.

As a young homemaker, I wasn't certain what my style was really... what surroundings caused my heart to sing.  But I began to take notice when visiting a home in which I felt warm and cozy.  I started filling a file folder full of magazine photos torn from favorite magazines and as the designers suggested, I didn't stop to note what it was exactly that I liked.  I just cut or tore and filed.

But eventually there were enough photos and I'd visited enough homes that I began to get a realization of what I liked.  What I loved about a room or a place or a porch or a garden.  That was the beginning of my home becoming my number one art project through the years, a canvas for which I have "painted" now for decades.  Mostly on a budget and while searching for thrifted treasures.

A great deal of what I liked through the years has remained.  Changes in our age, the ages of our children, circumstances, where we live, current creative endeavors, inheritance of items... all came together through the years to tweak the colors of the canvas so to speak.  But the basics were the same.

When I walk through the front door, home embraces and welcomes me.  It may not be beautiful to others.  The furniture is quite eclectic, a mixture of our purchases and thrift store finds and inherited antiques.  The artwork is a combination of my likes and my husband's likes and greatly reflects what we find lovely to look at through the years.

I like old things.  I like vintage.  I like history.  If there were enough space and time and money to spend, there would be one room of our home that is decorated completely in a Primitive American style.  As that is not possible, there are American Primitive accessories in and among the others.

I love the look of English Country so one finds the artwork is displayed all over the walls (it took awhile for Hubby to like that but now he does), beautiful china often collected for just dollars here and there and everywhere, the occasional florals among the deep browns and greens... and often a teacup with tea on the side table.

I love the look of Depression and WWII era American kitchens and thoroughly enjoy the yellow and red accents of my own.  It was the one room, before putting together the Study, that was all mine to decorate so it has more color.  I thoroughly enjoy mixing batter together in vintage bowls or the very large reproduction antique bowl I bought for the making of bread long ago.

I sift together ingredients in a quite old fashioned sifter, mix all with a wooden spoon when it does not need the strength of the Kitchen Aid, and at times wear an apron as generations before me did.  Because it makes me happy in a world full of gloom.

When I am quite down, putting a Dean Martin CD on as background and spending leisure time chopping onions and putting together a stew or making scones or any simple meal... come together to make me feel at peace and full of joy.

We were fortunate to be able to purchase a brand new sofa for the living room when we moved in well over eight years ago.  It wasn't what I had in mind when we went to the Lazy Boy store to have a look around.  But both of us kept going back to that sofa whose color is called Tobacco.  It didn't exactly match the two chairs from our former living room set but it was at least complimentary so it was to come live in our home.

Now I could not imagine the living room without it for along with the two large book shelves full of books (originally purchased to set on each side of the fireplace in a former house), it kind of reminds me of a small English study.  A look I like very much.

Then there is My Study, a work in progress but each week becoming more of a personal Sanctuary as that is where I can open a window when it is raining (without worrying about "moldy air" for my husband), read with no TV on, work at my desk with no need to take everything off to set the table for dinner, and it has cute stuff on the bulletin board... and no one cares.

As I have stated before, My Study was the solution for and gift of the Empty Nest Syndrome.  A very good thing indeed.   ;)

I recognize not everyone has an entire house as their canvas but there may be a room... or a corner of a room.  A place for at least one piece of artwork that makes you happy each time you pass it, perhaps a painting of a forest or a landscape or a mountain or a garden or a scene that reminds you of your childhood summers.  Or perhaps a framed photo from a special vacation.  Or at least a scented candle to light as you read with a cup of Earl Grey at your side.

Which reminds me... my sanctuary must always have books.  Lots of books.  Books I've read and books yet to read.  Fiction.  Nonfiction.  Books written by favorite Bible teachers.  Cookbooks with stories and pictures.  Children's books.  Grown up books.  The Russian novels I tell myself I will read.  Very old books with brown pages.  Used books with names written in the flyleaf that make me wonder who they were and if they loved the books as I did.  Brand new books that have the smell of recently coming off the presses (who needs a new car smell when new book smells are cheaper?).

My sanctuary has lots of magazines with lovely scenes and ideas and pretty rooms and stories.  Most collected through the years and some brought home from the free magazine stand at the library.  A few much beloved favorite magazines have been purchased with birthday and Christmas money saved for a particular issue.  Especially of the pricier magazines that are much more like a book with soft pages.

By collecting some favorite films and TV shows on DVD throughout the years, we have the amazing ability to get lost in a story on film at any time.  Something unheard of in previous generations.  I can't tell you how many times I have been in a stressful situation only to pop a British Period flick or a favorite episode of Last of the Summer Wine into the DVD player and find the tension ending.

I still find great joy in seeing how other people have turned their homes into a sanctuary just for their family.  This past week I perused the most recent copy of Where Women Create, propped against the grocery cart.  It contained more than a few ideas whose images I tried to remember (as the cost of the magazine was more than I had to spend on groceries at the moment!).

A few years ago I went through my quite large file folder which contained clippings of rooms and such and realized how my tastes have changed through the years.  But some things remain the same.  Quite a lot has remained the same, actually.  The basics of the canvas.  They have been there all the time.

The Word tells us there is a Carpenter preparing our real Home.  A Master Designer.  One who gifts us with more than our finite mind here on Earth can even think or imagine.  I am thoroughly convinced that when I walk through those doors, I will then know I am truly Home.

In the meantime, I would love to hear what you consider important in your home to make it a sanctuary.  Maybe I will find a new idea.  Added:  Your ideas have been wonderful.  Please keep adding them even when newer posts are added this week to the blog.  I will add a link next Sunday for people to return and read comments.

Image:  Alice Schlesinger, Illustrator

21 comments:

Deb said...

What a nice post. I'm with you about the books! I can't imagine our home without lots of books. To me, the books on our shelves say so much about us and what we value. I love the pictures you have posted of your home. It seems to me that it is truly a homey and comfortable sanctuary for your and your family. I hope you will continue to post pictures of the different areas of your home. I love it!

Anonymous said...

I really liked this post! You are able to put your thoughts into written words much better than I can. We like so many of the same things. That's probably why I enjoy your blog so much!

Dianne L

Morning's Minion said...

We share many of the same thoughts about a 'sanctuary'--the quiet place to read [no TV!] the gathering of little treasures, and of course, the books. You didn't mention the presence of Victoria, but I'll take that for granted. I always have a cat--or three--at my elbow.

Ann K said...

Hi, Brenda! Isn't it interesting to hear the different descriptions of what "home" is for people? I, like you, find the quiet of home very inviting. But it wasn't (and even now, at times isn't) always the quiet that makes it so sweet, but the familiar sounds, sights, and experiences that make it home for me. We have moved a few times in our married life and it seems like each time our new abode never quite feels like "home" till we have built some wonderful memories and traditions in it. We have lived in our current house for 2 years now, and finally I am starting get that wonderful "feeling" I get that I am home when I walk in the door!!
Blessings, Ann @ Christ in the Clouds.
http://christintheclouds.blogspot.com/

Sherry said...

Books, yes, and color. I recently was able to have my kitchen remodeled, and we now have a red and white tile backsplash. I don't think anyone except me was sure that it would look good or feel lovely and encouraging, but it does and it is. I love my house. If I could eliminate more of the clutter, I would love it even more, but that is a long term project that takes the cooperation of others who also share my space. So I enjoy it as is.

Sherry said...

Books, yes, and color. I recently was able to have my kitchen remodeled, and we now have a red and white tile backsplash. I don't think anyone except me was sure that it would look good or feel lovely and encouraging, but it does and it is. I love my house. If I could eliminate more of the clutter, I would love it even more, but that is a long term project that takes the cooperation of others who also share my space. So I enjoy it as is.

Nanna said...

what a fantastic post! I am with you all the way! once people began to see the difference between living in a house & living in a home they can begin to build their own special sanctuary from the color on the walls down to the dcor it makes a difference in the atmosphere

Helen

Senkyoushi said...

This is a beautiful post. I am in the empty nest stage. Thinking about what is next in my sanctuary. Maybe creating a study. =)

Nana said...

Hi Brenda;
What a wonderful home you have created! You put into words my thoughts about the perfect home. It sounds a good deal like my own home, except even at my age (a great grandma to 2 kids) I still have the noise and confusion of having kids underfoot all the time. I love it that way! But sometimes I do envy you your quiet, perhaps you can share it with me? Have a Bright and Beautiful weekend. Love and Hugs Nana

Vee said...

That is a sweet image of a little girl learning about creating home early. I always love to read your descriptions of home and sometimes wish that I could describe my home. I should try. I know your abode to be cozy and comfortable and warm and welcoming from your photos, though your words say even more.

Anonymous said...

I like a lot of the same things you do. What I think makes my home cozy, is lots of family photos, house plants, full bookcases, pretty teacups and teapots displayed here and there, along with seashells, ceramic birds, etc.....My husband tells me I can't stand to leave any surface bare! I always find something to display! He calls them my "shrines"! I don't particularly like that term, so I just prefer to call them displays. We washed windows this week and I had to clear out the kitchen garden window of my collections. Afterwards, it all went back, just arranged a little differently! LOL! I think it gives my home it's personality! I enjoy visiting other's homes to see what they display, too. Each one seems to reflect the personality of the ones who live there. Thank-you for sharing images of your home with us. I love how you enjoy changing up things from time to time. That has helped me realize I need to do that, too!
Blessings,
Laura C. from WA

Anonymous said...

Nice post ... hmmmm ... I love my fireplace (it's electric so I can have it going any time of the year for ambiance); lots of books, yes; no clutter; I also enjoy quiet - rarely have the TV on; my paintings that I love hang on my walls; and mostly I love having my husband home with me ... to me this is sanctuary. Pam (SD)

Mrs.Rabe said...

Love this!

Books, old silver (found at resale stores for a song), I have watercolors of Williamsburg on my living room walls, yellows, red accessories. I have gone about making our home a haven the same way you have.

I love my home, and we share it with others weekly! I need to go now and prepare for my home economics class today, and then for dinner here with friends.

Deanna

Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

Warm colors and the cozy feeling from shelves with much-loved books on them....Music that calms my heart, or makes me smile, and even, sometimes, energizes me! Many shelves were built by my husband because he knew I loved to have them. I think the things I find appealing are very similar to the ones you enjoy. Many things from my grandmother, my mother, my aunt Ned...Photos of those I love.......Windows to see the garden, the trees, the sky.

Home is meant to be a sanctuary!

Rebecca said...

Books, a leather piece or two, old wooden furniture, tables. LOTS of tables. Vintage table cloths and blue & white dishes. Candlelight and needlepoint framed florals. Comfortable chairs and more books.

Anonymous said...

Love your post! I like candles burning, calming background music, the ticking of an old clock, and the ambiance of soft lighting.. Last but not least, a pet curled up on my lap!

Heather LeFebvre said...

I think we share very similar ideas of home decorating. I too would love some primitive American -- one room is a good idea, and of course English country, and I'd love a Scottish tartan room and a library, though I'm very content and happy with my own mini library 5x5 reading area. I think it takes a tiny bit of clutter to make a house feel cozy -- I can't live with too much but none is very cold I think.

Deborah Montgomery said...

I'm going to check out that series, Last of Summer Wine. Sounds good. I love your description of home. Mine includes a fireplace, candlelight, tea, lots of books and china, and quiet. Lots of quiet. Soft places to sit. Homemade food. Home should be a sanctuary. It sounds like you have one there!

Cheryl said...

I love your description of your home/sanctuary!

These are the things I love in mine...
Books from all the readers in the house, here, there, and everywhere. A pumpkin spice candle. Heirlooms-in-use. Flowers in a pitcher or a mason jar. Soup simmering on the stove, or bread in the oven...or both. Coffee. The dryer tossing clean clothes around. Dinnertime conversation. The smell of clean sheets at the end of the day.

Amy @ Hope Is the Word said...

I'm just beginning to grow in this area, and I've been home-keeping for fifteen years! We've lived in the same home for our entire marriage, and I am just now really figuring out how I want things to look. We recently redecorated our dining room and relocated it to another room in the house. It's bright and cheerful thanks to some really bright accessories. I posted pictures here:
http://www.hopeisthewordblog.com/2014/08/19/dining-room-update/

Deb said...

Hi Brenda,
As usual when I pop in I wonder why I had waited so long to catch up. I have 61 posts from you in my reader! Surely Bloglines have mistakenly grabbed lots of others that I've read and I'm not really that far behind, right?

Anyway, I enjoyed your post about home. My idea of home would be quilts on the backs of chairs/sofas, a watering can of flowers outside the front door to greet friends, country gardening magazines on the table for perusing, electric candles burning in all the windows 24/7, tablecloths (some vintage) on the tables, twinkling lights on the mantel, soup simmering on the stove, and homemade bread just out of the oven.

I think you need to come visit. :)