Sunday Afternoon Tea

"I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

Matthew West song

I've found some of the best theology is in lyrics of songs... and the above lyrics in the Matthew West song never fails to inspire me.  A much loved one found Life in those lyrics when going through a dark night of the soul and as they later told me... "that song you love made me think of what would happen if I just gave up on life".

The lyrics (the entire song) were first heard on K-love as I was driving, on a day in a week in a month that I had been feeling passion for life waning.  Few would even guess, not even those closest to me for if there is one thing I have long been able to do it is... go through the motions.

There was no true life behind the motions, much less any passion for the path He has chosen... just the robotic accomplishments one can do in their sleep if one has lived long enough... cleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking... that which must be accomplished for the house to remain liveable.  But no creativity, no art in life, no gilding of the lily so to speak... just surviving.  Going through the motions...

That particular season of life-less days was most likely sparked by extended illness.  Many challenges can bring us to our knees... which is where we find the answers.  The Life slowly returned as I drew closer to the One who gave His Life.  I had to stop comparing where I was to where I had dreamed I would be in this Season.

While I would have said I was trusting Him to all things, I began to realize there was a part of me which was just "going through the motions".   I have long written that when we can't do everything... we must still do something... but I was not listening to my own counsel.

I can't tell you when I stopped going through the motions and brought passion back to my days.  Passion... that which I preached to my children from their toddler years.  "What should I be when I grow up?" was a common question of both.  "Follow your passion!"  Find what God created you to do... what thing on this planet do you love doing the most... what makes your heart sing?  Be a Renaissance man or woman and don't do just what you are paid to do... there is so much in this world to embrace.

But as I learned when the passion waned... it is not what we love to do but Whom we love that truly provides passion to do more than make our way through each hour of every day.  Oh, how I would dread getting to the end of my life and look back, only to realize I'd lived each day in a rather zombie-like state... only doing and never really feeling.  It is not the checking off of another line on our "To Do" list of life that He wants from us... it is... us.

As His love bloomed again within my heart, I was able to do much more than go through the motions of life.  He, who created Life, who IS Life, takes whatever my poor broken soul can think of to do and makes magic... Narnia magic.  He who came as a humble servant to take our place as the offering of the sin of Eden... He is now the one who truly gilds the lily... and I am that lily. 

So are you... :)