Pantry Talk - Thoughts on how I stock up Part 2

Okay, you want to start a pantry but what do you do first? Other then starting a list like we chatted about yesterday? Decide what is most important to you. Do you want to begin putting back extra basic items for cooking or baking? Do you want to start a hospitality pantry... keeping extra items for last minute guests?

Perhaps a "cold and flu" pantry which contains canned chicken noodle soup, a few boxes of organic chicken stock if you prefer, packets of oyster crackers should nausea hit, perhaps extra tissues and cold-flu medicine... each will prefer their own.

Find a place to put your items. Mine is simply shelves in the garage and I keep paper and toiletry items in the shower we never used in the tiny bathroom (Manuela's brilliant idea... see link below). There are all kinds of creative ideas online for finding storage space if you want to deepen the pantry.

Then start purchasing one extra of a few items each week. I like to make certain I have basic cooking and baking items like butter (which is so cheap here right now, I wonder how the dairy farmers are surviving)... I place three one pound packages in a gallon Zip Loc bag and then put in the freezer, baking supplies, milk, oil (I prefer mild olive oil for baking but I've long ago had to switch to canola), etc.

Of course, coffee and tea are important in this household. For more specifics, I've written volumes in past Pantry Talks... the link to all of them (should anyone be interested) is on the sidebar.

If I have no extra money at all, I'll purchase only a couple of the most important items. That which I don't want to run out of if I can help it. Should I go to the grocery store and find an unexpected sale, that may change my priority. For instance, I now have five or six bags of my favorite King Arthur flour because I hit a great sale a few months ago.

By the way, did you know unbleached King Arthur flour has enough gluten that it makes a good loaf of bread... should you not have room to store both unbleached and bread flour? Since I have limited shelf space, I stopped buying separate bread flour when I found out about that fact.

Just this past week, on my birthday, we stopped by Target for Sasha's kibble (on sale) and one coffee. We noticed our favorite Viva paper towels were on an amazing sale... put the coffee back... and bought the paper towels.

When finances allow, I go through all the stores sales fliers and check for their loss leaders. Sometimes I'll purchase one or two of the most important items I find on sale. Other times, when I can spare the cash, I use these great sales to really deepen the pantry.

For instance, when I find a buy-one-get-one-free sale on my favorite canned tomatoes, I'll use $20.00 of my grocery money just for the tomatoes. I use them quite often and they are a priority when deepening the pantry is possible. This is how one can start to deepen their pantry even more. I'll write more about it next time.

There are some items I will only purchase on deep discount... like ice cream, sugar free Sierra Mist, Christopher's favorite Nutra Grain or granola bars, etc. (and I watch for coupons to combine with sales).

I also watch for seasonal deep discounted items. For instance, in the fall one can often find canned veggies at their cheapest, especially stores which have their own brand of canned goods. The new crop is being processed and the stores need the shelf space for them.

I used to purchase green beans at 4 for $1.00 around September. Last year they were 3 for $1.00 but still a good price when one's son mainly eats canned green beans for his veggies. You may want to write a reminder on your calendar around the time you want to start looking for seasonal sales.

There are some items available only at certain times of the year. I can only find cranberries during the Holidays so I buy them then, drop three bags at a time in a gallon size Zip Loc bag, and have them for recipes through the year. I even made room for about six bags of cranberries (in two gallon size Zip Loc bags) in my freezer when I didn't have a deep freeze.

Many homemakers already know that the best time to stock up on baking items is during the Holidays. I'll start buying extra as soon as they go on sale and purchase a little at a time throughout the season. Sometimes all I can afford is a couple bags of chocolate chips or an extra bottle of vanilla... but it adds up if I am consistent.

Oh, someone had asked what vanilla I use? It's Watkins that I wrote about before that I like and I used to purchase the large bottle of it once in awhile (I no longer can do that). Although I find even store brands are good as long as they are real and (ugh) not imitation. I would leave vanilla out rather than use the imitation.

Another seasonal item I purchase is honey from the "honey man" at the farmer's market toward the middle or end of the summer. I like to purchase a couple of the two quart sizes and pour them into recycled jelly jars... which is what I had a picture of in Part 1. I couldn't afford to purchase any honey at all last year so we used up all our supply for the first time I could remember. Normally I have some left before purchasing more each summer.

I mention our reduced ability to make purchases from time to time only to remind people... if I can keep a pantry... you can. :)

More later... now, you must read about Manuela's shower pantry... wait until you read this.

Picture: Three Hens With Coop; allposters.com

Pantry Talk - Thoughts on how I stock up Part 1

As I've mentioned many times before, both my mother and my mother-in-law had a pantry so my husband and I took to this lifestyle naturally. (It is not surprising that both mothers came from rural families and each went through the Great Depression.)

My mother-in-law kept a very deep pantry and had a garden... she never learned to drive so she liked having "plenty" at home. :)

I've also written that I used to be an administrator of an emergency preparedness website where I met many precious people (Hi, Carrot Top... glad to "see" you in the comments!). I learned so much from the research I had to do for that position.

Everything I write now is based on past experiences as well as present, even though I can no longer keep a very deep pantry... I know how to stock one as I did when I had more income and a bigger house... so I will continue to share from all the experiences.

Here is how I choose the priorities for pantry purchases...

• Basics for cooking and baking I always use
• Items included in my favorite recipes
• What is especially inexpensive due to seasonal sales
• Items included in recipes I want to try soon
• Items I want to keep on hand for hospitality purposes
• Items I'll need for specific holidays, birthdays, and other event

I use my grocery list as the basis of what I stock up first. Mine is a basic list I typed and printed, which has changed over the years. I know the ingredients listed there (as well as toiletry and household products) are what I use the most and must have priority for space and budgeting.

As I have a good supply of basics, I'll add those extras I like to have in the pantry for baking and cooking. For instance, even though I like a good olive oil and I believe it to be very healthy, my priority will be canola oil as I can use it for everything. Then, when I have extra money to spend stocking up, I'll purchase items like olive oil which are important but not essential.

Further down on the priority list would be items like dried cherries and currents, chopped pecans, good quality chocolate chips, my favorite organic chicken stock, etc. Those items I can live without but I do enjoy having on hand when possible.

The first way I stock the pantry is simply purchasing extra of what I use the most. It is the easiest way to begin a pantry. It is also how I purchase items when my budget is really tight as it is now. I even ran out of coffee recently... yikes.

I decide what priorities I need to stock up on first and when I purchase one item, I also purchase at least one or two extra for the pantry... continuing to purchase extras over time until I have "put back" what I can given space and funds available.

When I had a larger house and income, I enjoyed keeping about three months worth of most basics (and six months of bulk items) in my pantry... which was an extra room in our semi-finished basement.

Priority is given to items like flour, sugars, honey (I'm out now but I hope to purchase some from "the honey guy" at the farmer's market soon), other basic baking items, pastas, canned tomatoes, canned veggies and fruit, butter and meat and veggies to freeze, vegetable and olive oil... etc.

I keep a "stock up" list which includes everything I want to keep in the pantry or freezer... even if I can't. I've revised it over the years and it's essential to those times when I have a little extra to spend in stocking up. I add to it when I find something new on the grocery shelves or in a recipe that I'd like to keep in the pantry.

I also have a "pantry grocery list" on the side of the frig for those items I'm either out of or nearly out that I need to purchase soon at the grocery store. I transfer what I can purchase next to the regular grocery list.

More soon (hopefully!)...

The difference between boys and girls

Well, I had planned to work on the next pantry post yesterday but my boy decided to spend the night after he dropped the car off for his dad in the afternoon (who had a dinner and meeting to attend).

Since I knew he was coming over, I baked lots of potatoes in the oven and used half of them (with an onion) later for fried potatoes to go along with a quick stir fry. Yes, I know stir fried dishes are usually served with rice but he is a "potato kind of guy".

It struck me how life is different with a young man type person in the house. I let him watch whatever he wanted on TV, which is how we ended up watching an Ice Road Truckers marathon... not what I'd normally watch... but it was surprisingly interesting. It's the perfect show for us to watch together as we can follow what is going on while still chatting and getting caught up on the latest news of his life.

I didn't watch such shows when Stephanie was in college and living at home. When Christopher first signed up for one of the Internet communities, the advertisements which kept popping up were for.... shall we say.... alternative lifestyles?

He couldn't understand why until a friend told him, "Dude, it's probably your favorite movies". He reminded the friend he was raised in a household with a mother and an older sister... thus, the movie list. He quickly added additional favorite films such as The Godfather and Fightclub and the advertisements switched. :)

Steph and I are not outdoor kind of girls. We both have a very fair complexion and burn easily (she got a sunburn in England!). When she was in early elementary school, we did do a little bicycling together... searching for Pooh tracks mostly. (She played tennis with her father.) We enjoyed taking a picnic to the beach and dipping our toes into Lake Michigan, especially on very cloudy days and not for long.

Christopher and I spent hours hiking trails for our Nature Notebooks, looking for rocks and bugs and Indian Arrowheads and... but not snakes. While he would eat any picnic items we would bring, he much more enjoyed Happy Meals on the way to the park... I think it is that meat and potatoes thing again.

Stephanie made certain to call from Ambleside on my birthday (even if she did have to leave a message), knowing how much Charlotte Mason means to me. Christopher wrote "Happy Birthday" on my Facebook page (I just set up an account this week, mainly to view pictures on Stephanie's page). He remembered because the reminder popped up on his Facebook page.

Stephanie buys me things like lavender water and British DVDs and teapots and teacups and... tea... for presents. Christopher takes me to movies such as Transformers and Star Trek.

When Stephanie visits, we stay up late watching British flicks after the children have gone to sleep. As mentioned before, Christopher has me watch shows about truckers.

If anyone wonders how I became such a well rounded person, they have only to look at my children.

All that to say... I'm still working on the pantry post. :)

She's blogging again!

Our Kelli Wilt is back! HERE...

Thank you!

Thank you for the kind birthday greetings.

Stephanie left a message for me, calling from Ambleside... we were away from home when she called. Because of the time difference, I ended up talking to her this morning. I always ask her to describe everything! Her meeting with the Charlotte Mason biographer sounded so interesting.

We ended up going to lunch at a buffet for my birthday amidst a day of running errands (it was cheaper than the cafeteria would have been). Oh my, I told my husband before we walked back to the car that I had eaten more in the past hour then I usually eat in a week. :)

Today I will be freezing items from the garden and work on the pantry posts. I need to write the information out first to get my thoughts all together. It is amazing how different things look when we have to write them down (like when we write down everything we eat when on a diet or all that we purchase for our budget).

Recently we agreed to be a Nielsen TV ratings family and we had to write down everything we watched for an entire week (including if the TV was on and no one was watching). As I told Christopher, I started watching COPS one evening and decided I didn't want to write that down in the diary so I changed the channel. :)

All that to say... I'll be back later with more pantry posts because I believe deepening the pantry is more important now more than ever before. Some people will be like me where I have a very small pantry (given limited income) but others will be able to do even more, like I used to do when we had a larger house and available finances.

I am learning so much from my first year of raised bed gardening. One of my favorite movies is For Richer or Poorer (it's silly but it has a great message about materialism vs. simplicity). There is a scene near the end when the Tim Allen character is looking at the corn and just amazed that he had grown it. That's how I have felt when harvesting green beans this past week... I planted those seeds and look at them now!

I'm convinced there may be a time this autumn and/or winter when people may be quarantined due to the H1N1 virus. I don't hear as much about it on the national news anymore, but it is big news locally as there have been many more cases and local medical professionals believe it may come back even stronger.

I'll also try to comment on some comments soon. Off the top of my head, you can make your own lemon infused olive oil (Kimberly gave a link that I will look up) but some of the lemon infused olive oils are created that way during the pressing when the lemons and olives are pressed together.

Should you make your own garlic infused olive oil, be sure to keep it in the frig! Probably not a bad idea when we make any of our own infused oils, just to be safe. Of course, infused vinegars are safe on our pantry shelves... if I'm wrong let me know!

I had to buy kitty kibble for Sasha yesterday at Target so I checked their olive oil display while there to be able to tell you more about infused oils. They have about four or five different kinds of infused olive oils (including lemon, red pepper, garlic, and one that contained basil) all with their own label.

Of course, the gourmet shops almost all sell them at higher prices and one would think they are also made with an equally higher quality of extra virgin olive oil (one would hope). I've only purchased the gourmet shop oil once and that was when they had an excellent price on a Meyer lemon infused oil (I love Meyer lemons). That was a few years ago and I haven't found a Meyer infused oil since then, which is probably good given my grocery budget. :)

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me!

Another year older and I hope... wiser. :)

Hubby and I are going out to lunch to celebrate. We have a coupon to a favorite cafeteria. Nothing fancy but anytime someone else is cooking and doing dishes is a celebration. My gift from him was $10.00 to spend at Goodwill. A great gift!

I thought I'd show you that the mini island I moved from the wall into the center of the kitchen is working great. Even hubby is used to it being there (and he takes awhile to get used to changes).


It continues to hold my huge mixing bowl and the vintage bowls nesting inside it. I don't need that really big bowl often but when I do... it is the perfect size.


All three of the nesting bowls have the same design but were purchased from garage sales separately. I love having them so handy and with a small kitchen, I use storage wherever I can create it.


While I had the camera out, I took a picture of my Dayspring tea tray. I did have a beautiful patchwork of vintage hankies on it (inspired by Friend Debra, who won the Dayspring give away a few months ago). I came across this lovely scrapbooking paper in my stash and thought it would look pretty for late summer through autumn.

I love this Dayspring tea tray... the back of it is similar to a picture frame which allows you to place whatever you want under the glass.

By the way, the teapot and teacup shown are among my favorites... the teapot was a birthday present from Stephanie when she worked in a coffee and tea shop in college, the "July" teacup was a gift from her to remember our time spent at Old Sturbridge Village together a few years ago.

I'll be back later today with another pantry post... Lord willing and the creek don't rise.

Pantry talk - those little items which make a big difference

Beautiful veggies from the garden

After writing what a friend's dad told Christopher about "stocking guns and food", I read a couple more financial e-mails that came in. Both said they expect the economy to get worse before it gets better (and if war breaks out in the Mideast... watch out for sky rocketing oil prices).

I understand what the investment counselor meant about gold. If one has enough money they need to protect, gold is a good hedge against inflation and the devaluing of the dollar.

However, I also understand why he told him food and other necessities are a priority and can be "cash" in an emergency.... hmmm, is the financial counselor suggesting we prepare for bartering?

For the next few days I thought I'd share experiences from the times I deepened the pantry more than usual. I'm still mostly living out of the pantry (as cash is limited) so I'm learning more each week. It makes all the difference in the world when your pantry and freezer is all you have to shop from and a quick trip to the grocery store is not an option.

I'm also learning even a small garden is absolutely beneficial. :)

I keep a grocery list just to write down those items I need for the pantry. When I have the money to restock, that list becomes my pantry priority list. It includes regular pantry items I'm beginning to run out of, items I realize would be good to add to the pantry, and it is at my side when I go through recipes to see what I will need in the pantry for a particular recipe.

I stock the usual foods one would expect... those basics needed for baking and cooking. But once in awhile I find a new item that should be stocked. For instance, I use fresh mushrooms for most recipes but I couldn't purchase any. It would have been great to have mushrooms on the pantry shelf. The recipes just weren't the same without them (canned would have been far better than none at all). So canned and dried mushrooms went on the pantry grocery list.

Mostly I use my pantry money for basic groceries but if I see a favorite gourmet item on sale... and I have most of my basic items on the shelf... I'll add it to the pantry. For instance I love lemon infused olive oil and it is on my pantry shelf when I can find it at a good price, not something you'll find in the average Stocking Up book.

It's exactly the reason I stock some items which may seem unimportant... but I've found in the past useful for certain recipes. For instance, I always have small cans of sliced black olives on the shelves. I added them to my pantry grocery list during a time such as this when I realized they would add "just the right flavor" to a couple of other pantry items.

Those little extras we choose to stock will be as individual as our menus, heritage, and favorite foods. My mother had pickled pigs feet in her pantry. I do not. :)

Sunday Afternoon Tea

Friday was a frustrating day in an equally frustrating week. By noon I felt like taking to my bed, covering myself with a quilt, and eating an entire pint of Hagan Daz ice cream... which is exactly what I did one time in my old corporate days. However, there is no ice cream in the freezer, which was probably a good thing.

It had been a week of little foxes again, almost all caused either by the usual suspects... health and financial concerns or (as on Friday) someone else driving me over the edge... in this case my doctor's office... which has happened more than once this year.

Friday evening I tried to relax and read a bit but my eyes are giving me trouble (allergies) and I couldn't focus on the words without them hurting. I talked to God but it was mostly complaining about my day, and my entire week while I was at it. I'm glad He is all Patient.

Soon thereafter I had a call, a complete surprise... Stephanie calling from the Mother Country. (We don't need to mention that whole Revolution thing.) How wonderful to hear her describe the old Roman architecture of Bath, I could almost see it through her eyes. Although her degree is in Interior Design, it is actually a pre-architecture program so she thoroughly enjoyed the sites... not to mention high tea. They also stopped at a small tea shop while on the road to their cottage, which she said was very cute.

They had just arrived at their rented cottage in the Lake District. I had prayed for them that this trip not only be all they hoped but that it would surpass their expectations. They do not plan another such trip until after the children are grown (and her hubby is iffy about that). So... how excited I was to hear she had a moment where she was overwhelmed with the beauty before her as they made their way to their destination. They even have hobbit houses (although my son-in-law reminded her that the doors were not round).

Saturday they were to walk to a village near the water and on my birthday... head to Ambleside to see the Charlotte Mason "stuff" and meet the young woman from Oxford who had recently finished her PhD on Mason's work... and have a scone in my honor.

Her phone call cheered me up immensely and the decision to tuck in early was just what I needed. I rarely sleep for nine hours but that is exactly what happened Friday night. When I awoke, all the challenges were still there but there was also peace and strength to handle them with. All I needed were rest and a good chat with a wonderful daughter (who spoils me)!

I once had a friend whose mother committed suicide when he was a teenager. It was devastating to him and his siblings that she would choose to leave them. However, I told him I could understand someone having those feelings if they had lost all hope... claustrophobic emotions can overwhelm one and they think there is no way out of their despair.

Fatigue especially is the enemy of hope and faith. Hope is an all important emotion that we often overlook. (I have hope spelled out from Scrabble tiles, sitting on my vintage breadbox.) Faith is necessary and the Book says we cannot please God without it. However, hope is that light at the end of a dark tunnel that keeps us treading on until we reach the goal.

We must have a way to handle days when life seems to hand us more than we can take right then. I should say... healthy ways... as I feel a lot better while eating a dozen chocolate chip cookies... until my blood sugar skyrockets and I've gained five pounds.

However, I know if I pop a favorite film in the DVD player... brew a little pot of tea... place a few cookies or a muffin on a pretty plate with an equally girly cup and saucer... I will renew the hope and feel better.

Or, perhaps... eat pizza and watch an "end of the world as we know it" disaster flick with my son or part of a White Sox game with my husband (did you see that perfect game???). Something to take my thoughts off of Trouble.

Then again... weeding the garden and picking veggies or working on my flowers... that can work. Sometimes it requires getting immersed in a good book or looking through a stack of pretty magazines.

I need those mini-vacations to get away from all that would cause me to sink into an abyss if not challenged.

Of course, the foundation of all is time spent with another Friend and in the Word... without that foundation I would have no hope.

Pantry talk -- even the experts are talking stocking up

My son told me about a recent conversation he had with his friend's father. He asked him what he considered the best investments right now. His friend's father said, "Guns and food". Christopher thought he was just kidding but... no... he meant it... guns and food. He even told him he recommended stocking food before gold (as gold is a great hedge against inflation but not practical in emergency situations).

Now, I'd just laugh this off except for what this friend's father does for a living. He's a rather well-to-do financial investment analyst! That's what he does for a living, investing other people's money. He honestly believes we are going to see far worse than we have already (forget that temporary bubble in the stock market).

It reminded me of a question Glen Beck asked two famous financial counselors (or were they economists?) on his show back when it was still on CNN. He asked the same question, "Where should people invest their money?". One of the experts looked seriously at him and said... "canned goods". The other expert agreed, adding other necessities to the list.

Kinda' makes you wonder what these experts know that we don't. As I always say, a pantry is insurance you can eat and they see it as an investment you can eat.

Anyhoo... life goes on... you can tell from the picture above that I'm still freezing zucchini, this time sliced and put in quart size ZipLoc bags, then placing four or five of those bags in a gallon size ZipLoc bag before putting in the deep freeze (labeled and dated, of course).

Stephanie told me just to slice and freeze them as is... using them in soups and other recipes. I'm going to shred most of them that we don't eat right now, though... for quick breads.

We only planted two plants of zucchini and that's giving our small family more than enough. If you're wondering why I have my coffee container there...

this is a rather unappetizing view. I recycle two of these as my under-the-sink containers for everything going out to the compost pile. They have worked very well and I love being able to reuse any plastic items over and over.

Recession ponderings... you can live on less

A very true saying, stitched when Stephanie was an infant. :)

If there is one thing I have come to realize these past few years, it is that one can live on a lot less than they ever thought they could. Just when I thought we were at the very least we could live on... another $200 was taken out every month to pay for Christopher's surgery.

I can't say it is easy but it is always... interesting. It never ceases to amaze me how provision is made unexpectedly. Last month I had "extra" money come in so I purchased a few items needed for the garden, meat for the freezer that was on sale at my grocery store, restocked some basic pantry items, and was even able to purchase a few clearance flowers (together costing less than one went for at the nursery).


Yesterday Christopher called to ask if I was "making anything for dinner" (I can always tell when it is getting close to the end of his bi-weekly pay period). Fortunately, I'd defrosted a few items in the refrigerator and could put together a nice chicken stir fry for the three of us. My husband has remarked a few times how happy he is that I had purchased items for the freezer and pantry.

It's a little dicey at times, having to look for change through the house to be able to purchase a small coffee at McDonald's while waiting on my son (he needed the car that evening... yes, we share one car between three people who live in two houses). It is amazing what one can do when needed.

So, what is your point, Brenda??? Well........ it is this, my friends. I can live on much less than I used to only because I have the experience to do so... and those skills are learned on a daily basis over time.

Such skills as:

Baking bread
Cooking "from scratch"
Knowing what leftovers will come together for soups, casseroles, etc.
Stretching meat and other proteins
Thrift store shopping
Driving by a garage sale at 35mph and knowing if it is worth stopping or not
Substituting ingredients or changing recipes when I'm out of something
Purchasing really nice presents for little money
Making presents
Rich decorating... cheap
Purchasing expensive clothing, purses, shoes, etc. for a couple dollars or less each
Building a home library for pennies
Quilting and crafting... but not sewing clothing (believe me)

Well, you get the point... and many of these skills were developed when I had "enough" money because the lifestyle was enjoyable.

Believe me...
are you listening?...
drop the chocolate bar and look into the screen...
voluntary frugality and simplicity of life is a whole lot easier than if you come into a season of forced frugality without the skills.


I am now learning... gardening with the raised bed garden, freezing zucchini, pressure canning, and that I shouldn't plant tomatoes next to the fence in the back yard.

For all the knowledge and skills I've been accumulating for over the years, there is always so much to learn (my original files are from the 1970s when people were writing about frugality, getting back to the land, and simpler living... also during a time of severe recession!).

I love... love... love reading blogs such as those listed on my sidebar (they don't come any better than Rhonda's Down-to-Earth blog and her links to start with). I just have to remember when an Australian blogger talks about winter they mean June through August. :)

It took awhile for me to learn materialism is not the measure of success... simplicity and living a frugal lifestyle are good (and can be very enjoyable). These lessons taught to our children will serve them well.

One step at a time... one skill at a time... one day at a time.

This and that

Stephanie called last night just before they boarded the plane to Europe. She was hoping they would sleep on the plane so they are not nodding off in the Bath tea room. Elizabeth (age 7) was fine until she it dawned on her they have never been separated this long. I told her they would be fine with Grandma and Grandpa to take care of them.

She bought a postcard at the airport to send them and wrote a note asking E. if they should go all around Bath looking for Mr. Darcy (or was it Captain Wentworth?). Sigh... I was tired. Anyhoo, these are the children who would pretend to go "into town" when they were little and "town" meant Bath instead of Boston or New York.

They will visit Bath, the Lake District, and will end up back in London. I don't know all they plan to visit but I do know they are making a special trip to the place that holds a lot of the Charlotte Mason materials.

Stephanie received an e-mail that a young woman who just finished her Doctorate (I think at Oxford) specializing in Charlotte Mason's work was going to be visiting at the same time and would she like them to set up a meeting... Yes!

Little did I know when I picked up a copy of Susan Schaeffer Macaulay's book, For the Children's Sake many years ago that it would be one of the most influential books of my life. I only purchased it because I loved Susan's first book called, How to Be Your Own Selfish Pig. I had just begun homeschooling and fell for Charlotte Mason's style with the proverbial "hook, line, and sinker". It fit both my style of teaching and the way a very ADHD child could learn.

Stephanie was in college at the time (she started her freshman year at the University the same day Christopher began Kindergarten in the public schools.... the timing being God's sense of humor). We started homeschooling our son in second grade after a nightmare first grade experience.

Sallie had commented about Saugatuck... yes, it is much different today. It is still beautiful but a favorite place to live and vacation for people who prefer alternate lifestyles. Holland and Grand Haven actually have more to offer families and one must visit all the tourist traps because they really are interesting and fun. (Although, we went to Saugatuck about four years ago and found visiting during the tourist season in the daytime not to be a problem.)

I had a question awhile back about how I make the glaze I add to make my coffee cake extra special. I like the glaze to be just slightly thinner than icing so it will look thick (rather than the thin glazes that are good when you want the dessert to absorb them).

I put about two tablespoons (or four if I feel rich) of room temperature butter in a bowl. Then I add about two cups of confectioners (icing) sugar and blend it together with a fork. Then I add milk about a tablespoon at a time until it is the consistency I want (thick but able to drizzle off of a fork). I have used water if I was low on milk but milk makes it richer.

Sometimes I add a very tiny amount of extract (lemon when using blueberries, orange with cranberries, almond with cherries) but you have to be very careful. I accidentally put in too much lemon extract the last time and it tasted bitter... yuk. That was only about a half a teaspoon and it was overwhelming. I forgot I was making the glaze rather than the batter.

This is also the icing recipe I use on cinnamon rolls except I'll start with more butter at room temperature (an entire stick if I can spare it), three to four cups of confectioners (icing) sugar (once again blending together with a fork before adding liquid), milk also added a tablespoon at a time... whipped together with the fork or a whisk. I make it thick enough to easily spread on the cinnamon rolls but not stiff as one would want for a cake. It's rich so too much can be overwhelming for some people.

I found the above way to make cinnamon roll icing in one of the Cooking From Quilt Country books sometime in the 1990s. It was the recipe used in a small Mennonite restaurant famous for their cinnamon rolls and tasted exactly like the icing I remember on a coffeecake my mother purchased from local farmers when I was a child. It's that high butter to sugar ratio that makes it different... not as sugary sweet as regular butter icing.

If I've put all that time into making cinnamon rolls or coffee cake... I want it to taste great. We don't have them that often. :)

Added: I didn't know the Follower's widgets were having issues. I hope they get it fixed. I have slowly been switching from Bloglines to Google Reader because of issues with Bloglines. Especially when one of my FAVORITE PEOPLE stopped showing up.

New way to subscribe

I've been asked a few times to set up an e-mail subscription option for Coffee Tea Books & Me.

I know some people prefer that to subscribing through an rss feed or stopping by each day.

So... this being the week I have spent entirely too much time on the computer already... I set it all up and tested it on the blog's Hotmail account.

Just scroll down until you come to the area where I have a variety of ways to follow this blog... which amazes me that people have asked for more ways (I added the Followers a few months ago and the rss feed option has been there almost since the beginning).

I consider that a compliment... thank you. :)

Old Victorias and memory lane

After I finished my list of "things to do today" on Tuesday, I spent the afternoon with a stack of old Victoria magazines at my side (those I found at a thrift store last month for a dime each). What a way to spend part of a day.

There were many of the magazines from the early 1990s that I didn't recall reading, which was rather odd since it was my favorite magazine. Then I realized those were Christopher's umm... active... toddler years. Which explained a lot.

There was a very nice article about one of the women who wrote the Silver Palate Cookbook (one of my core library of cookbooks in the 1980s and 90s) and how she had married and started a Bed & Breakfast (The Wickwood Inn) in Saugatuck, Michigan. I remember hearing about her B&B at one time and was very happy to find the article... with pictures. :)

In my files I have another article about Saugatuck in the 1990s, which I believe came from a later Victoria or perhaps Midwest Living. It contains pictures of the town and the boardwalk... both of which contain such happy memories for our family. Well, three of us as Christopher was not born until we moved away from the area (B.C. means something entirely different than usual in our household).

I find as years progress that it become more necessary to take hold of the (Narnia) magic life has to offer. It is good to remember how filled with hope we were as a young family during those years we lived in Holland, Michigan.

Since both of us worked at the time, we spent many of our warm weather weekends in Saugatuck relaxing and enjoying family life. We often went there for Saturday morning breakfast "out" or perhaps a Sunday brunch overlooking the water.

Life was different in the 1980s with a girl as an only child; she and I enjoying the world of "foodies" as we would check out the new cookware, gadgets , or gorgeous coffee table cookbooks at the gourmet shop... or should I say "foodie in training" as she was quite young.

The three of us enjoyed walks on the boardwalk, taking in the summer breezes off the water, stopping to gaze at beautiful gardens, peeking into quaint shops, and the holiday feeling one gets at tourist's destinations during peak season. Most of our visits were spent window shopping with money spent only on meals... but still lovely.

Those years were far from perfect but memories are pleasant. I have found we tend to sift out the challenges experienced at certain times and remember those moments that were especially pleasant. As I pondered those years... I realized what a foundation they were to the person my daughter is now.

She and her husband are leaving for England today (their much anticipated anniversary trip) and she was frustrated that there may be no room for candles in her suitcase. I reminded her they have candles in England. (When we vacationed in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania last year... I found her with pillows propped up and candles lit on the dresser... reading while the children were napping.) She spent her early years surrounded by much that was lovely. :)

I also found it not surprising that my son-in-law was trying to take as many books as possible without going over weight limits for the airlines. I love that guy.

I'll be praying for them as they are traveling and for my son-in-law's parents who are staying with the children. It is hard to wrap my mind around the fact they will be taking high tea in Bath tomorrow.

Stephanie has also promised to eat an extra scone with cream and strawberry jam for me on my birthday.

Joanna, all I can tell you is... my birthday is next week. ;)

Picture: A corner view of my dining area

Why does it take so long to just get started?

I don't know why it took me so long to drive a couple miles to a tiny park and walk the bicycle path. I've talked about it with my husband for three years now, once the realization came that one cannot walk the county roads without being run over by a sixteen year old driving ninety miles an hour to the high school... on roads wide enough for 1 1/2 cars.

So... yesterday I made the rash decision that we should "walk today". As Nike would say... just do it! It turned out to be a breathtaking walk... in more ways than one.

This part of the bicycle trail cannot be seen from the road so I had no idea how pretty it would be. Under the clearest of blue skies, I passed by wildflowers, prairie grasses, a "field" of hundreds and hundreds of pussy willows in the distance, the line of dense trees a few miles away, and a multitudeness amount of my favorite Queen Anne's Lace.

Normally I am not in favor of picking any flower or plant in such public places, where one should keep them for the enjoyment of all who walk that path. However, the abundance of such wildflowers (or weeds as my husband calls them)... caused me to gently snap off one white and lacy souvenir of the mid-summer day.

I'm quite good about getting things done a little at a time. Just this morning I tidied a part of the garage for about fifteen minutes while the laundry was drying (my washer and dryer are in the garage).

However, I'm not very good about taking the first step to do something I want to do (and let's not even think of what I don't want to do)... perhaps in this case knowing I will never again be able to do the three mile power walking I accomplished each day before diabetes affected my feet and energy level (it is a Catch 22 as exercise helps to keep chronic illness in check but also causes one to feel like exercise is the last thing they want to do).

We do not count the miles, anymore. Both my husband and I walk a certain amount of time... him checking his watch and me the time on the cell phone in my pocket... designated minutes out and designated minutes back. The time pathetic by my old standards but far better than sitting in the Lazy Boy chair.

(Of course, being much taller than me, his minutes out takes him much farther but he knows I would rather walk to the tunes from my itty-bitty iPod as opposed to talking, anyway.)

Another first step we took this year is producing excellent results... the raised bed garden. I wish we'd done this a couple years ago, along with planting rhubarb near the fenceline.

It's just one of those things that require a lot of thinking, and planning, and budgeting for... making the decision that money and time will be spent on something which produces for us over the years rather than immediately... not only in veggies and fruit but also experience.

Yes... we could have purchased quite a lot at the farmer's market for what we spent in building materials... but how wonderful it is and will be to have everything set up for the garden. Especially where we live in the country... we will be preparing the additional three square beds in early autumn, ready for spring planting.

Setting up a pantry is another project many people say they "will do someday" because it seems overwhelming. Every time we moved, we pretty much had to start all over again (except I did move my bulk items).

Since keeping a deep pantry is important to me, I always started restocking a little at a time immediately. In that case, I was experienced so I didn't put it off... having a good idea where I would start and what I would need to have on hand immediately. Experience is only brought about by doing! (Preaching to myself...)

I promise you, building and deepening the pantry over time will save you money and you will be the hero of the family when you can provide food at the last minute without going to the store... in times of unemployment or downsizing... and in the event of The End of The World As We Know It (which seems more possible whenever I watch the news!). :)

Now, what can I do today that I've been putting off? I think I will grind wheat to make a loaf of bread today and enough extra to fill the ancient Tupperware container. I'll keep it in the refrigerator, of course. I just have to turn my computer off... soon.

Picture: the Queen Anne's Lace on the windowsill

40th anniversary of Apollo 11

Most people my age can remember where they were and what they were doing on days of tragedy... Kennedy's assassination, Elvis's death (okay, so maybe it was just my sister Joan and me), the Challenger explosion, 911... among others.

But among the sadness there was one amazing, sparkling, golden moment when one was proud to be an American and the world held its' collective breath. That was the moment Neil and Buzz landed on the moon (and Michael Collins was orbiting it). I've heard estimates that 1/5th of the world's population watched the live telecast.

I remember the days the spacecraft headed for the moon and the excitement leading up to those words "the Eagle has landed". Later those words, "One small step for "a" man, one giant leap for mankind".

Armstrong swears he put in the "a" and people didn't hear it correctly. As a fellow Midwesterner, I believe him. We don't say "AAAAA", we say "uuuhhhhh" so some would hear the "for uhhh man" and miss it, especially East coast type people.

Not to mention any names.... certain people from New England who like to tease us about our cornfields and soybeans. But I digress...

Like so many in my generation, I was fascinated with space travel and with NASA. I wanted to be an astronaut, which is hard to believe today since I'm claustrophobic and hate to fly. But it wasn't about the flying... it was the magic of it all.

All that science, and math, and engineering... slide rules and pencils in pocket protectors... computers that took up an entire chilled room.

I've always had a thing for engineers. Even if they are weird. I married one, I have lots of friends who are engineers, and my son is minoring in engineering... believe me. They are a peculiar people.

Sometimes we talk about the "good old days" and they probably were not quite as fun and interesting as we remember. But not the space race... it was everything and more. It defined a generation which was full of hope for the future, a passion for science, and national pride to "beat the Russians" in the race for space.

We could use a lot more of that today.

I still am and always will be... proud of everyone who works for, in, with... and around... NASA.

Where did it go?

I loved the look of the last background but I had the same problem as one of the people who commented.

My eyes have a hard time focusing (after all these years of diabetes)... I'm still tweaking more designs that do not have a script behind the words. :)

It was beautiful, though.

Update: Okay, I'm going to keep this blue and white floral background for awhile and see how it works. I can read the words!

I kept the background for the recipe blog. I think we all liked it and it is so Vintage Kitchen.

I really should be cleaning house.

Sunday Afternoon Tea

I can't believe it is July in the Midwest. It is the season of my birthday. It is the time for the 4-H County Fair. The early sweet corn is being sold on the back of pickup trucks in parking lots throughout the county.

Normally these all share in one particular fact... it's usually hot... stinkin' hot. There's just no lady like way to describe it. So hot you stay away from the swine exhibit at the Fair hot. Yet, Saturday we barely made it out of the 60's. Lovely weather that I enjoyed very much... but not July weather.

I mentioned earlier in the week that I'd write today about ponderings given this entire "sister-in-law situation". It has been an interesting week with her (losing her, finding her, wondering where she is to go) and generally keeping her in prayer on my part.

This past week as I was thinking of her, it dawned on me how all that she has been taught at her church has come together to form who she is today and how she is responding to this emergency in her life. Their church used to have sound teaching, not only when my husband was growing up but in the early years of our marriage and when Stephanie was a little girl. We enjoyed hearing the message given by their pastor when we would visit.

Then... over the years... we heard and saw the changes creeping into the denomination. That pastor left and was followed by another, then another, yet another... each man following the other was more liberal than the last. I knew from little things my mother-in-law said now and then that their thinking was less Biblical and the years went by... even though they read a passage from the Bible before each meal.

I was quite appalled when... one Easter... I was in the hallway of their church with a fussy baby (that would be Christopher) and perused their rack of written literature. The title of one of the tracts was something like The Danger of the Evangelical Church, in which someone had written about the "dangers" of small minded people in evangelical churches in general... and Billy Graham in particular. (I didn't know anyone thought Billy Graham dangerous.)

That was nineteen years ago and my husband's sister has learned the lessons well. I don't think she has ever missed a Sunday's service in her life (except days of illness) but she has no relationship with the Christ of her Church at all.

Whenever my husband has talked to her about knowing Him personally, she said her church preaches that people do not need salvation or a "personal" relationship with Christ... and she's grown up in this church. He will tell her what the Bible says and she always retorts with... she believes what is taught by her denomination.

She has no peace, no hope, no sense of the One who loves her... even though she has grown up in church. She has a form of religion and has little to do with the one whose Name it holds.

As I thought of her, though, I also was reminded of my mother who was not happy when I decided to accept Christ in my teens. Mom had been raised in a Christian home but one that was very legalistic... having a form of religion but mostly rules.

While her mother was a warm and loving Christian, others around her were constantly telling her she was going to Hell so she turned her back not only on the church... but on He who was the source of her mother's warmth and love... and peace. Her reasoning... if she was already lost then she may as well be all the way lost.

Frankly, if this was Christianity she wanted nothing to do with it. Although, as I grew up, my mother loved to listen to the old hymns of the Church. Not because of the One they talked about but they reminded her of her own dear mother.

I've often said there must have been someone praying for me as I was growing up because... in the midst of a very unchristian home (especially among my grown up siblings)... I longed for a relationship with God. Somehow inside of me I knew He was real. My search led me into false religions and the occult... but eventually He who was wooing me from my earliest memories also led me to Truth.

My mother and other family members would come to know Christ as Savior but Mom could never trust Him as Lord. The seeds of legalism were planted so early and grew for most of her life... she could trust God would give her Heaven... but not trust in His love so she could have peace.

Two different women... two different churches... one which disregarded most of the Bible and the other which chose to ignore grace and concentrate on the Law and fear. Neither lifting up the person of Jesus... the One who could be the Source of everything they needed in this life.

I remember reading Elisabeth Elliot's book called The Shaping of a Christian Family. It's an excellent book and quite wonderful in the description of her spiritual heritage. However, I found myself sad when reading it because I did not have such a good foundation.

But then I knew I had another gift... if not a foundation... I have a testimony... an amazing testimony of another student being told to find the "least likely person" in her class that she thought would ever become a Christian and invite that person to a revival at her church.

The least likely person? Me... :)

Who came out of the pit and fell head over heels in love with the person of Jesus Christ... not a religion, not rules, not even church... a person who changed my life and has brought me through as neither a religion nor a set of rules could do.

Something neither my sister-in-law nor my mother could do... know who Jesus truly was, is, and will be. Who is this Jesus?

As C. S. Lewis put it:

"...that is the 1 thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher.

"He would either be a lunatic -- on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg -- or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the son of God: or else a madman or something worse."

I believe my mother has found her peace and joy. I can only pray the same for my husband's sister.

Picture: Teatime at my home... German Chocolate Cookies (recipe blog)

Just a little book talk

Oh, my friends... my stacks are nice and neat but you should see them when they've fallen over on the floor! At least I keep all my library books on a captain's chair next to the breakfront. Especially those I borrow from the library that charges for late books and DVDs.

I still enjoy coming home from a library sale and dumping all the books out on the living room carpeting... going through each new (and cheap) treasure. I don't enjoy finding a place to put them.

When we were in our elementary school years of homeschooling, kid's books were still a quarter a piece at the sales. We'd come home with three grocery bags of books at a time. Friends who started homeschooling even earlier told me you could still find plenty of Landmark books for a quarter before that... they were popular enough that one was fortunate to find them later. Now all books are at least a dollar but still a great deal.

I didn't attend the last two library sales, feeling my budget must go to living expenses and eating instead. As much as I love books, I love eating even more (even in the summer when I don't have much of an appetite). :)

I was asked if we read the Harry Potter books. Well, it probably won't surprise you that we didn't. I was very careful about the books, films, and TV that both my kids watched when they were young because of my past experiences. I was even known to be careful what families my children spent the night with if I thought they would be exposed to defiling videos.

When I was a teenager, I loved Dark Shadows... hurrying home from school to watch it on TV. Because of that show, I took a journey into the occult for awhile. Thankfully, I came to learn better and threw all that away but it showed me the power of "story" influencing young minds.

Of course, Christopher is now free to read them if he wants and he did watch one or two of the movies when it was on TV. The older he got, the more freedom he had in his choices. Because of my past experience, I prefer not to bring into the home anything that remotely glorifies witchcraft or the occult.

However, I fully understand there are Christians who did read and enjoy the series. I don't put anyone down as each family is different. Christopher and I watched and enjoyed a few Japanese anime' series when he was young, something I know a few Christian families would not watch because of their Eastern religion worldview. (Which we discussed as we watched them.)

I think we can overdo screening our children's literature. There was a website years ago when we first started homeschooling where the mother preached against books like Anne of Green Gables because the girls got into trouble. Hello... isn't that the point of the literature? Anne learned from the consequences of her bad decisions and our children learned along with her.

Stephanie has a friend who doesn't read books to her children that have animals talking (no Narnia???) because they do not talk in real life. Although she certainly doesn't agree, she knows she must respect her friend's opinion as a parent.

At the same time, I wanted to keep both of my children as undefiled as possible (when they were young) by the worst the world has to offer. I had no filters on what I read or saw as a child... including some of the vilest magazines and books available at the time. How I wish there had been a gatekeeper to protect me from those visual images.

As both of my kids became a teenager and (of course) a young adult... they had more control of their reading materials as well as videos (now DVDs). The older they got, the more I wanted them to use their own discernment.

So... all that to say I don't put people down because of what they choose to read... or watch... or what Bible translation they use. I'm not hesitant to say what we have decided as a family and give the reasons why (as with my past experiences with the occult) but when my best friend at the time couldn't wait until the next Harry Potter book came out... it didn't hurt our friendship. (She moved away, that is why she is no longer my best friend here at home) :)

Oh, the Elizabeth George I mentioned is the one who wrote A Woman After God's Own Heart, which is one of her books I've reread often.

I've seen the novelist Elizabeth George books at library sales. I loved watching the Inspector Lynley series on PBS Mystery, which was based on one of her books. It was so interesting.

As so many comments said... so many books, so little time.

Picture: A Good Book; allposters.com

The anticipation of unread books

I've talked to Stephanie more the past couple of weeks than we normally talk in a month (or more)... all because she's been taking the kids to swimming lessons each morning.

When the cell phone rang yesterday morning, I answered it with "this is your last day!". Then I thought I should be more specific... the last day of lessons, not her last day of breathing. :)

Anyhoo... one of the subjects we were talking about this last week was how one is not truly a bibliophile unless you have books stacked someplace... implying one has more books than room for shelves.

I've had to get rid of lots of books after moving to a smaller house. Some went to New England (almost all my "classic" homemaking and homeschooling books) but many were given to the library or Goodwill. It meant making hard choices but ending up with the most important and cherished.

There is no room to squeeze in another bookshelf... but that hasn't stopped me from collecting more books... especially at library sales and thrift stores where I can purchase a book for a dollar.

I mean, really, there are new books coming out and I've developed more a taste for novels than I did in the homeschooling years (probably because I have more time to read them!).

Which poses the question why one buys more books when it means starting a new stack beside the bed, or behind the wingback chair, or stuffed between the large bookshelves and the wall or...

...on the living room coffee table where this is hardly any room left for a cup of tea and a snack?

I think it's all about the anticipation of knowing we have not one, not two, but dozens of books ready should there be the available time to prop our feet up and read... and read... and read. Not that we necessarily would mind you, read dozens of books at one time... it's knowing that we could if we wanted.

There is just something about having unread books on the shelf that excites me with the possibility of opening that front cover and finding... treasure. Especially if it is written by an author I've already read and loved.

I have history, biography, and other nonfiction books waiting to be read. It never fails... on a particular snowy afternoon or rainy evening... I start thinking of a book which has been waiting patiently on the shelf for that moment it will be removed and treasured.

Sometimes the book is not on a shelf but at the bottom of a stack next to my bed, causing all others to come tumbling down in jealousy that they were not chosen first.

I do enjoy re-reading books very much. Actually, if I'm feeling tired or distracted, I often choose an old favorite to lose myself in again. It's a safe and secure destination which I've visited before... there will be no surprises... I know I will end up with warm and cozy feelings. Just this morning I took my favorite Elizabeth George book off the shelf, the one I've read over and over... but a perfect choice to peruse while sitting in a doctor's office waiting room.

But most of the time I'm willing to jump in and become immersed with new thought, or a new plot, or learning more about someone I admire... perhaps looking at a Bible passage in a way I'd never thought or learning wisdom from one who has walked this path before.

I hope you have at least one stack of books. :)

Bottles and journals

Kitchen window circa 2007 or 2008

I must take the time to look through Comments and answer some questions. These two were easy to remember so I'll answer them now.

I had lots of comments about the flowers on my kitchen windowsill that I posted a few days ago. This picture above shows a slightly different view with taller flowers and a milk bottle in the middle. They were originally a bouquet purchased at the farmer's market.

This photo was taken last week when I "snipped" a few zinnias off flowers on my deck.

I originally got this idea from a picture in a magazine that I keep in my original scrapbook journal. The only difference... their bottles were lining a larger window and the glass bottles were all that beautiful deep blue (the same as one of the famous brands of water has for their bottle).

This color works better for me. I've been able to find a lot of various sizes at thrift stores, Goodwill, and garage sales. I love the look that either one flower or many flowers in each bottle provides.

I also will place only one flower in the middle bottle... or a tiny bunch of my favorite Lily of the Valley flowers in early spring.

A look at my original scrapbook journal, which is mostly pictures, poetry, prose...

A page from my "newer" scrapbook journal which is actually used as a journal.

That brings me to the scrapbook journal posts, which a reader asked about. I will take some recent pictures of my journal soon but if you click... here... it will take you to the past journal posts.

They include links to some journal posts in other blogs using a similar scrapbooking approach.

The much anticipated zucchini post

Well, not really. It's not all that much. I'm just busy freezing the zucchini from the garden. We also picked up our friend's CSA veggies for two weeks, which included lots of zucchini. (Community Supported Agriculture is when you pay one or more farmers in the spring for veggies (and fruit in some cases) and then receive produce in season... usually once a week. Our friends were out of town and we enjoyed the produce. :)

Hubby and I are from a long line of farmers and gardeners (his parents had a gorgeous "in town" garden) but this is our first real garden. We moved too often before to put the time and effort in anything but herbs and a few tomato plants.

However, having grown up with gardens around us we knew how prolific zucchini plants can be so we only purchased two plants. I especially wanted to fill the freezer with shredded zucchini that I grew pesticide free to be used in breads and muffins.

Stephanie tells me sliced zucchini freezes well to be used later in recipes... I'll save space for them. They will be great in a veggie soup when it gets cold.

I shred the zucchini and then place it in a colander which is sitting on a plate to let it drain awhile. It stays there an hour or two and I "fluff" it when I think of it.

I then fill snack size ZipLoc bags with two heaping half-cup measuring cups of the green stuff. It's a little more than a cup total.

All of these bags came from just three zucchinis.

The snack size ZipLoc bags are placed in a gallon size ZipLoc bag. Since I'm putting a "bag within a bag", neither of them have to be freezer strength. I love snack size bags... use them for lots of things. :)

So... what do I do once I'm finished in the kitchen?

Okay, so I said I wouldn't talk about it anymore but...

Thank you for your previous comments. I know I said I wouldn't say anything about our situation with "you know who" again but I did want to share something else.

I have to remember that having her a part of my life means I am a person God has placed in her path to pray for her. I honestly don't harbor any animosity toward her. Forgiveness is a gift from He who forgave all.

I have mentioned many times that my husband is on Disability for bipolar symptoms. Actually, it is the severe environmental allergies he developed as a teenager which caused such challenges in his life, eventually doing enough damage to his brain (with all the swelling through the years) that his symptoms are bipolar as well as mental confusion.

He can be just fine one moment and hardly functioning the next (which is why he was put on S. S. Disability the first time he applied, something rare... but he had over forty years of documentation from doctors). We know that "bipolar" is a huge umbrella of many causes.

I used to complain to God about my husband as a "normal" life has never been possible. At the least it has been the source of financial chaos but also daily stress from living with a person who is entirely unpredictable and can be nice one moment and in a rage the next.

I complained until the day when He finally got through to me that my husband is a ministry He has given me. I had images of my early and teenage years run through my mind and realized everything He allowed me to experience helped later to help my husband. He has said many, many times that he would not only have left his walk with Christ long ago but most definitely would have committed suicide if not for me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have been far from perfect. I mean... really far from perfect. I've stomped my feet, cried, yelled at God and everyone around me (blush...), buried my head in my pillow and sobbed, complained to God that I woke up in the morning when I asked Him to take me during the night... and pretty much acted like a brat.

What God did that helped me through the years... He poured His love for my husband through me. He gave not only me but our kids the gift of "letting it all go". That's why Christopher has told me many times that growing up in this home taught him how to forgive quickly. Not that we didn't have to get in the car and leave for awhile to calm down.

I think I have my ponder back (trials will do that to you) and on Sunday I'll share about what I've learned about going through this with said SIL. It's different then lessons learned in living day to day with the bipolar symptoms my husband experiences.

They send me to my knees daily. I have to gain strength each morning so I cannot only face the challenges each day brings but do so in a way that does not bring dishonor to the One Who gives me that strength.

It's all in the attitude... if I saw my husband as my Problem... the one who was keeping me from a life of peace and prosperity... then I'd live in anger. If, instead, I realize this is where God has placed me to be His woman, in His time and in His place, ministering to one who is broken... then I can accept the gifts He gives each day to do that which He has called me to do.

The hardest part of dealing with his sister these past months is what it is doing to my husband. He functions best when life is calm and he is in control of his environment (which is why we use the small bedroom as a home office and "his" room). Since I have the laptop now, I'm rarely in the office.

You can imagine what it is doing to him getting phone calls 24/7 after months of having to take care of her problems on the phone and travelling to his hometown for that which must be taken care of in person... from becoming physically exhausted and not being able to get out of bed in the morning all the way to more flare ups of sudden rage and not thinking clearly.

So... why hasn't God just HEALED him so we could live a normal life? Why wasn't everything made right before the stress (probably) brought about my chronic illness? Why did we have to sell our "dream" home and end up in a position where we have a little over $100 each month for gas and groceries? Ummm... I don't know... except...

What He has allowed in my life is the very stuff what what I have to share with others. Life isn't perfect. This is not Heaven, yet. Bad things happen to good people.

Everything I've been through is what taught me about...

keeping a deep pantry (because unexpected circumstances can happen);

that God provides even if He doesn't change circumstances;

how He brings peace while leaving us in the storm;

that we have control over our attitudes and surroundings...

and that He still makes "boundary lines in pleasant places" in the midst of that which is far from perfect.

Now, I know you were waiting with baited breath for my zucchini post. It will follow later today. I need to let the battery on the laptop charge (thank you again to my friend who gave it to me as a gift... you are precious) and do some housework.

Morning storms watered my garden but the downstairs maids did not clean the kitchen or do laundry. Good help is hard to find these days.