I realized this past week that I have been walking on the snarky side of life... that being when I'm on the edge emotionally and wondering what great (or tiny) catastrophe is about to befall me... or humanity in general.
By nature I'm fairly easy going about a lot of things. Stephanie had a friend in elementary school who told her no one was as nice as I appeared to be (she thought I had to be some kind of axe murderer or something, as one can only be pretending to be so nice to people). Memory being what it is these days, I don't recall if she ever changed her mind. Although she did like the cookies I baked for them.
The snarkiness has come about with a general dissatisfaction of life as it is. Which is absolutely evil considering the blessings He has brought my way this autumn. It was a glorious season, filled with beauty, friendship, new experiences, and kids. Now I let my gaze settle on the forest outside and the trees are bare and forlorn as they stand against the gray sky... I wonder if they feel the cold rain and wind.
I do... well, my spirit does... yes, it is that very cold and damp feeling of the upcoming harshness of winter. Like Narnia before Aslan returned, I feel it is winter and never Christmas. Sigh... My mother became depressed this time of year and I'm understanding why a little more. Perhaps that is why I miss her during the week before Thanksgiving proper.
I know the weather is partly to blame for my cranky, snarky mood and I am feeling better but not really what I would call... well. Then again having multiple items not work right and break down (it was the vacuum cleaner this afternoon!) didn't help. I've had to drive Christopher to campus and pick him up for a couple weeks after the bookstore said he couldn't use his parking pass in the employee lot, anymore. Life has been... complicated.
So what does one do when they find themselves walking on the snarky side? Well, I found myself thinking of scripture on the way to campus this morning ("My God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches..." came to mind out of nowhere). I also decided to do one load of necessary laundry and to take a long nap... because I can.
I haven't been very hungry but I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch... comfort food. I also pulled the bread machine off the red bookshelf and assembled the ingredients for a delicious cinnamon roll bread dough. While I napped, the dough was mixing and rising and the morning dishes were soaking... one ready to be washed quickly while the water was still warm and sudsy to be followed by the usual rolling out of dough to make cinnamon rolls.
Very soon the rolls will be ready to pop in the oven and the aroma of cinnamon and bread will fill the house as if to push aside the cold and damp air which has been hanging around. I will scan the section of bookshelves which contain favorite authors to revisit familiar places and fictional friends. A candle may be lit to bring light into darkness.
I have found when such moods have settled in, on, and all around me... I have to do something... nothing big or important but just that which has brought peace and comfort and joy in the past. In this case, a familiar book will be enjoyed by me but the guys will be thankful for warm cinnamon rolls on a cold and wet November day.