Monday, March 10, 2008

When I need an anchor

I'll be drawing a number from a bowl (as opposed to a rabbit out of a hat) this evening! So, if you are reading this in the daytime on Monday... there is still time to make a comment on my previous post.

I have this picture (much larger, of course) hanging up in my formal dining area. It is one of my favorites. I remember when it was purchased, to hang in the big formal living room of our larger home. I had been going through one of the hardest struggles and trials of my life... not caused by health issues or finances (although they had cropped up before and after that time). No, the trial that had sent me to my knees... on the floor... with the Book of Psalms open... (can you see why I loved this artwork?)... was caused by betrayal from people whom I once called friends.

The grief I felt was overwhelming. A couple of years later, I was able to see how I'd opened myself up for their slander campaign. I don't believe I deserved it at all but I know why they did it. Having been in positions of high visibility in the corporate world and in the church, I had known fiery verbal arrows before and I usually was able to "consider the source". This time, when the source was people I never expected to do this, the hurt was overwhelming.

I did come away with a lesson, once I had healed enough to ask God to show me what I could have done differently. I remember it quite often now... "even though you have an opinion, it doesn't mean you have to give it". I can't tell you how many time through the years that has stopped me from opening my mouth or sending out a wordy e-mail. Not that learning a lesson made what they did right, far from it.

It's just that old saying I go by... to never waste a trial. Okay God, if I'm going to cry myself to sleep for months and months... then teach me something in this. He does... He did... He still teaches when I ask.

There was a song I listened to over and over, practically wore out a CD! This is it... The Anchor Holds by Ray Boltz. It truly was my anchor (and yes, I did spend months kneeling on my living room carpeting in agonizing prayer... just like the picture).

The Anchor Holds... then and now. We truly do hear Him best when we need Him most.

I have journeyed
Through the long, dark night
Out on the open sea
By faith alone
Sight unknown
And yet His eyes were watching me

The anchor holds

Though the ship is battered

The anchor holds

Though the sails are torn

I have fallen on my knees

As I faced the raging seas

The anchor holds

In spite of the storm

Ive had visions
Ive had dreams
Ive even held them in my hand
But I never knew
They would slip right through
Like they were only grains of sand

The anchor holds
Though the ship is battered

The anchor holds

Though the sails are torn

I have fallen on my knees

As I faced the raging seas
The anchor holds

In spite of the storm

I have been young
But I am older now
And there has been beauty
That these eyes have seen
But it was in the night
Through the storms of my life
Oh, that's where God proved
His love to me


Daffodil Hill said...

The Anchor Holds is my theme song! Like you, I have often started the cd playing, pushed the repeat button, and listened over and over again. This song has been a huge comfort to me since the sudden death of my son 5 years ago and the equally sudden death of my husband last month.

We even used this song at my husband's funeral, and I have asked to have it played at my own when that time comes. It is a stirring reminder that the Lord is my Anchor, and that He will never let me down. His grace is wonderfully sufficient for anything He may ask us to bear.

Anonymous said...

Several years ago during a Sunday school class I was in, which was an adult class, we were discussing what an "opinion' really is, and when the discussion was over we had decided that an opinion is something you keep to yourself, because once it passes your lips it then becomes a "judgeement". And I have found this to be true several times.

Janice said...

Thank you Thank you Thank you
I feel like I was sent to your blog just to see the words I have read here today. I have also been hurt because of my opinion from people I considered very good friends. I myself would let them have their opinion and not take it to heart because they were my friends but it did not work that way with me.
God does direct you if you do let him in your heart. I am learning this more and more everyday.

Tammy said...

Funny how the greatest wisdom usually comes out of the biggest hurts! I love that song, too!

kareng said...

I agree with the song choice! I haven't thought about it in a while, thanks for the reminder!
I needed to hear exactly what you wrote, I feel like I am on the brink of trouble and you put the words I needed to bring into clarity what the trouble was; my opinion. I am so thankful for the Lord using you today! Isn't He wonderful!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your heart-felt post and how the Lord has been a steadfast anchor for you in difficult times. I can't tell you how many times I have pushed the repeat button on that song by Ray Boltz as is one of my favourites and such a great reminder that God will never leave us nor forsake us.
Thank you for being so honest and open.