Holidays with little cash

I have to say that what I'm sharing is just my opinion and neither "right" nor "wrong". We all have our own ways of celebrating the Holidays that mean a lot to us. My way has come about through 30+ years of married life and living on a budget most of the time. So please don't think if I'm suggesting if you celebrate differently it is wrong. There are some who would think I go overboard decorating. :)

We decided early on in our marriage that we didn't want the emphasis at Christmas to be on presents. Although my parents were average working class people, I would be inundated with presents each year. I remember feeling both overwhelmed and greedy at the same time (as in...bring it all on...more, more!).

After I became a committed Christian, I wanted the emphasis to be on the meaning of Christmas rather than what we get. One tradition we did most years (and I know a lot of people who do this) is limit our gifts to our kids to three, just as Jesus had three Wise Men bring a gift. (Turn off your theological brain here, I know they most likely did not bring them to an infant just as much as I know Jesus most likely wasn't born on the 25th of December.)

We open gifts on Christmas Eve and the stockings are opened Christmas morning. Besides the three gifts, there was also always a book as a gift. Many years my husband and I did not give each other gifts but we gave IOU's to be able to purchase something at another time.

If you are going through a lean financial year (or down to the bone as we have before), I personally believe you need to share it as a family and try not to hide it from children. They deserve to be part of the solution. If you have read books about the Depression, you will find the families who worked together to get through the hard times very often remembered those days with fondness and nostalgia.

We have always been honest about what we can afford at Christmas and birthdays (which are during the Thanksgiving/Christmas season). For instance, this year my husband is on Social Security Disability (and barring a miracle will remain on it) and he has been too ill to supplement the check with a part-time job as he had planned. Our son's seventeenth birthday is coming up so we gave him the option of a small present or being taken out to dinner. He chose dinner out at a restaurant. He knows when we are able, he will receive a present but it may be in the Spring...or later!

We will also be giving something small to the grandchildren so they have a wrapped gift from Grammie and Granddad. However, that doesn't mean they don't receive gifts from us. They went home a couple of weeks ago with a ton of books, wooden puzzles and brand new "Dora" toys which were all purchased from garage sales or Goodwill.

Our friends and other family members all receive baked goods from us, usually presented in something nice I've purchased at a garage sale, Goodwill, etc. over the past year. I realized just how few people today bake at home, much less make homemade candy, and that loved ones would enjoy them (and they do!). No one has ever returned these gifts. :)

I remember one year we were particularly well-to-do, I purchased more presents than usual including a nice coat for my daughter. We all discussed it later and all of us realized it was nice to receive the gifts (and my husband and I had fun giving them) but we were no happier than in leaner years. We had developed such a habit of frugal Christmas celebrations that were a tad uncomfortable with excess. I'm sure one could get used to it but we decided to return to frugal Christmas giving, no matter what our income. I always admired my oldest sister and her husband who made a very good living in government but did not go overboard at Christmas with their only child, at the same time a couple of our other siblings who made very little money went deeply into debt each year.

If you are going through a particulary difficult financial season in your life, forget your pride and contact service agencies like The Salvation Army. They can often help you with food and presents for the children or they can tell you another agency that can help. We had to do that a couple of years during times of illness. Also, when grandparents and other family members ask if there is anything in particular the children want, to be ready with an answer. During these times, "anything" is not a good answer. This is the opportunity for help from those who love you.

The only time I would suggest being careful at what agency you contact is if you are homeschooling and you live in a community hostile to homeschoolers (fortunately, we didn't). As in all things, we have to use wisdom.

If I can share anything, it is to work together as a family if you must have a Holiday season on a budget (even if it is "just" a husband and wife, a parent and children, etc.). Brush off the dust from The Long Winter (one of the Little House books) and read it for inspiration!