Been there...done that

After reading some comments, I wanted to write a little more about entering the Holiday season (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hannakuh as we honor our Jewish friends) when you have little or no money. We not only have these three Holidays but both my daughter and son have their birthdays during this time. (We didn't plan that well, did we?)

Although my husband was a very good engineer, the environmental allergies that finally ended his ability to work have been with us since before our marriage. Because of this, he would work for a few years and then lose his job when the allergies affected him so much he could not concentrate on his work. For a long time, we weren't certain what was wrong with him. When he was younger, he could snap back from a severe allergy season as long as he was watching his diet and taking a lot of vitamins, minerals, etc. to improve his immune system. As he grew older, it took him longer to recover and eventually he was ill all the time. He's worse when the outside allergens are a problem in spring and autumn (we have had a terrible allergy season this autumn due to too much rain). This added to food allergies, mold allergies, sensitivities to petroleum based products (which really bothered him at his job), etc. unfortunately brought about Disability (which we are very thankful is an option in this country).

It was especially difficult because many of our friends were highly successful people and the neighborhoods where we lived often contained neighbors who were "professionals" and made a great deal of money. Even today, most of our friends and former neighbors take Holiday vacations to some very nice destinations, not to mention the price they can pay for their Christmas presents. So that is why we've had "good years" and "bad years".

I don't care what the numbers are showing that we are in a good economy, I also know a lot of people who are in great financial stress right now. It can be hard to look around and see what others are able to do but here is what I learned through the years...God gave us the promise of His provision. Sometimes the provision may have seemed small but it was there. Other times we have been overwhelmed (like the year our daughter was in high school and we returned to our car after a Wednesday evening service and found it full of wrapped Christmas presents with labels to show who each was for and a card with a gift certificate for $100.00 for groceries). We later found out it was her youth group who had been working on this for weeks.

I've learned not to be proud during those years but to let others have the blessing of helping us. For they receive blessings in Eternity and great joy here.

It's important not to get bitter and feel God has abandoned you. He has a purpose. Both of my children have true hearts of gold when it comes to helping others. They know what it has meant to be in need and both are givers. I believe we have all been given the "gift of mercy" to others because we have been shown mercy...and grace...and love...when we needed it.

Also, we need to act as a family who are meeting these challenges together. It will bring us through these trials and make us stronger in the long run. I've already written about this but I can't emphasise it enough. Whatever the trial during this season; whether it is financial or health related, whether it is reaching another Christmas without a child in the house or facing the Holidays having a loved one who is not at the table...we have to trust God and love each other.

At the same time, if you are enjoying a year of great prosperity...you are called to share. I can't tell you how much fun I had one year after we had received a small inheritance when I took a niece out to shop for Christmas. She and I hardly knew each other (as she had lived with her mother after a divorce) but I believed this was what God wanted. Along with purchasing her some clothing, we found a present for her brother and her dad and had them wrapped. I usually have extra Bibles (purchased at library sales) so I included one for her and her brother with the other gifts. I don't know when they will read them but they are now in that house (easy to read translations).

If you want, you can let one family member in on your secret (mom is probably best when available) and find out what presents you can purchase for the family, then surprise her with something, too. Otherwise, gift cards made this mom have tears of joy during "those years". I had friends from my Christian Women's Forum (we've known each other since the 90s) call a local grocery store and purchase gift cards for me over the phone (some will do this with credit cards, others won't). Then I got a call from the store telling me to pick them up.

Other gift cards to the Mall, Wal Mart, Target, etc. are wonderful and can be used during after Christmas sales. Gas station gift cards and long distance phone call cards are great, especially for those who have no income right now. My son loves to get a gift card to Starbucks and Subway. My daughter gave me a Panera gift card one year, which she knew I could use to get away during a particular stressful time. If a group of friends go together, combining groceries (or a grocery store gift card), presents wrapped (works best if you know the people), luxury items (like special soap, bubble bath, etc.), a gift card to Barnes & Noble for a bibliophile or CD fan, arrangements for a meal "out", cash...all work well.

Believe me, you will make all the difference for a single person or a family. You will be God's hands and heart and bring joy where there is great sadness if you are able to reach out to those who need it. Even in our lean years, we often put together a Shoebox for Samaritan's Purse (which doesn't cost much at all). Some can do a lot, others can only do a little...but we can all do something. This year I have some people I know who will be added to receive baked goods, which is all I can do this year...but it is something.

Don't forget those who are in need for Thanksgiving, either, and if you are one of those who are going into the Holidays with little or no money...seek out help. It's okay. Someday you will be in a position to help others.

So whether this year is prosperous or financially strained, God is in control and He loves you. The extent of his love for you is not related to the balance in your checkbook, for which I am eternally grateful.