Monday, August 09, 2010

Times they are a changing

It is in the air... I sense autumn's closeness.  Sunday afternoon, as I sat at the laptop writing an e-mail to my daughter, I noticed movement outside the lace curtains.  The wind had blown a few colored leaves from the black walnut tree, whose branches take up part of my view.  Times goes quite fast these days, before I know it the tree will be ablaze with color.

I say that during a week it is hotter than blue blazes again with heat advisories already in place.  But heat in August is much like snow in early March... you know the seasons are with you and it can't last forever.

Another change this week... a big one in our household... we, who were once four... and then three... will become two.  Christopher will be moving to campus this weekend and although he won't be far away, I know everything changes.  I've been through this before when my college senior moved to her own apartment just a few miles "down the road".  Even if they return home to live, it is not the same.

As the old WWII saying goes, "Once they've seen Paris it's hard to keep them down on the farm".  Of course, the University is not Paris but it is... freedom.  No Mom and Dad there when they arrive home each night.  Sigh... it is time but it also signifies the end... the end of children (young or older) in our day-to-day existence.

It is also the DAY for which all the others have been forming, when we have been helping them grow roots.

When did the days become months which became years which became decades... when?  

What was I doing?  

Did I know in my heart that I would blink and all the years of children at home would be gone... in what seems like a moment?  

Did I teach them what was important about life... about God... about the Golden Rule... about literature and art and music and the Bible and how people are more important than things... that Star Trek the Next Generation was better than the original no matter what their fathers says?

A lifetime is not made in years but in each moment lived... baby kisses to toddler hugs to preschool picture books to picnics in the park to watching swimming practice and fencing classes to Dad teaching them how to drive to...
... receiving their wings.  :)


Becky K. said...

((Big hugs))

Our first may leave the nest in January. It seems sudden.

Becky K.

Mrs.Rabe said...

Dear Brenda,

I have been noticing that even though it is so hot, Autumn is on it's way!

Changes are hard...but they are just that "a change". They can end up being fantastic!

Just think how extra special it will be to meet him for lunch or have him some spend the day. One of these days he will be bringing a wife and family along....


Anonymous said...

Kids grow up so fast it's unbelievable.
And I agree that Next Generation was way better than the original Star Trek. The sets and uniforms look really cheesy on the first series compared and Capt. Picard is way "hunkier" than Kirk.

samcoll said...

Funny, I was just thinking the same thing as my first born starts high school this month! I still have three others at home, but the time goes by so fast!! I have the same thoughts about whether I have taught them enough...I still have time with my little homeschoolers, there ever enough time? May God bless your quieter house. And may God continue to bless you and your family!~Jennifer

freetobeme - Anita said...

Yes, fall is in the air.
You worded your feelings so clearly and beautifully. I really identified with you as I read, of course I've gone through this five times, as each has left. It's that last one, Christopher for you, Rob for me, that leaves such a void in our hearts and homes. It's a new chapter in our lives... And it is what we make it... I know for you it'll be good. It has been for me...

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

I dreaded the empty nest for years before it happened. My youngest daughter was so independent and willful that it seemed she left before she finally did. After high school, that was pretty much it. My son was always a homebody--still is, but now in his new home with his wife of almost one year! He went through a journey of substance abuse and two terrible accidents due to it. He was in a neck brace for 5 months and I took time off from my job to stay with him. A couple of years later, after his life had straightened out, he wanted to move out with a friend. I was terrified with the "what ifs", but a friend who had gone through much of the same with her son said" "Do you really want him to think he can't make it without you"? It was what I needed to hear--I appreciate much what you said about the "wings". It's so true!

Anonymous said...

Brenda, I have let two children leave the nest but our youngest, at 23, will probably never leave. He has Asperger's Syndrome and though I know God is in control, I long for him to be "normal" for his own sake.

But, I have a suggestion for about another cat? Hee, hee!

Friend Debra

Anonymous said...

I just have one more little chickadee at home full-time. She's turning 18 next week. I'm almost wanting to pull back the apron string a little.
Bless you as you venture into (another?) new season of life. I'm sure you will be busy writing and find yourself living the new mission in life.

eyelandgirl said...

Though your post is very upbeat and I think you have a great attitude, I will pray for you, Brenda. When my youngest left home, I had an identity crisis because if I was no longer Mom, then who was I? I was sadder than I expected, even though I knew it was for the best and God was in charge. It really does seem to come suddenly even though you raised them for this. In time I adapted, and now I'm a grandmother, which helped a great deal. I hope the best for you.

Anonymous said...

What beautiful words! So well said--you touched my heart and I am 75. It is always hardest when the youngest leaves. I told a friend recently when her youngest left, to look for a place to serve. Only in serving is there fulfillment. Perhaps there is somewhere you can serve that is not too far away. If not, please remember you are serving all of us who love to read your blogs. You are touching our hearts. Your words are truly a blessing for so many of us. Thank you, Brenda

Vee said...

Beautifully written...

And as challenging as this season is, we'd have it no other way. It means a whole new beginning even if the close of that former chapter is bittersweet.

I hope that we'll be reading more about this life adjustment because you are so very specific when you tell a story, which I love.

Anonymous said...

That day approaches for us too, as our youngest will go once she makes enough at her job to do so (we live in a VERY expensive area). In some ways she is already gone, preferring to live as if only a roommate here. I do so wish she had a good man to marry and go that way, but so far no good candidate has come her way. So we pray, in hopes that she will not have to be alone when that time comes. My hubby hopes to retire ere too long too, so we are in the midst of those discussions. Life holds so many changes as time marches ever quickly on. Blessings as you face the empty nest. Fur babies do help, don't they?

Sharon Lovejoy said...

Yes, life IS lived by the moment. You realize that, which is a gift. Some people never do and waste their lives looking for tomorrow or dreaming about yesterday.

All simple joys to you and your fledgling,

Sharon Lovejoy Writes from Sunflower House and a Little Green Island

Manuela@TPOH said...


Savanna is living at home this year but I'm sure my time will come! An exciting yet sad time.


terri aka Penny Ann said...

Oh Brenda I so identify with this post! And how funny that you used that old song "How You Gonna Keep 'em Down on the Farm..." I wrote that in my journal Monday night as I prayed over my 18yo daughter's upcoming marriage (Yesterday!). She is my baby and my last little birdie. It seems truly that just a couple of weekends ago we were putting her down on the floor to watch and see what new skills she'd learned in the week past. Next week my girl will be home from her honeymoon and moving to KY/TN area to become an Army wife, setting up her own home, starting to live her dreams.

And here I am, with new dreams of my own, and time on my hand and time alone with my husband. Thankfully he is my best friend and my favorite person to hang out with.