Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A little more about the pond

I went back to bed yesterday morning and slept until noon! That just doesn't happen but I guess I was really, really tired.

I haven't written about our year by the pond before. It's a year that is difficult to explain, even by one who loves words. We lived there after we left Detroit and before we moved back home. As I said yesterday, it was the year that changed everything.

As painful as that year was, I don't think I could have accepted the changes in my life without it. Hours spent by a pond and a lake will do that to you (and for those unfamiliar with American geography... watching the waves of Lake Michigan is not unlike sitting by an ocean). There is a reason they call them The Great Lakes. :)

I can look back now and know everything I had to give up was worth it. I remember during that year looking up at the sky and shouting to Him that He required too much of me, that He had asked me to give up too much over the past few years. I think I even stomped my feet. The result of that year is in my writing these past three...

That was a number of years ago and we now own a home at the edge of the forest so there was obviously a happy ending to the story. The in-between years were interesting to say the least. Sometimes when I look back, I am still amazed at how quickly one can lose so much materially but then realize it is not "stuff" that matters.

The story of how we bought our house is on the sidebar under "Coffee Tea Books & Me Favorites" and called Laying My Isaac Down.

If you left a comment recently but you don't see it listed, Blogger was having issues with comment moderation lately. Instead of publishing many comments, they just vanished into thin air. I'm afraid at least a couple dozen were lost.

Thank you all so much for your comments and e-mails about Sasha. It has been an incredibly difficult few days since she was put to sleep. Everyone who has ever loved and lost a pet knows what it is like to walk by the space where they often curled up and think for just a moment you see them there. Last night I was putting items away on a shelf in the kitchen and saw their "nummy" dishes, which held their Fancy Feast treats and I broke down all over again.

I remember holding my mother's hand as she passed from this life into Eternity. I was telling her she would now be able to run and jump again, after so many years of being bedridden. I like to think of Sasha now young again and chasing her sister through the flowers. Perhaps not Storm's idea of Heaven... but certainly Sasha's. :)

I think it is just now sinking in that she is gone.

7 comments:

scrappy quilter said...

Continued hugs being sent your way.

Nana Trish is Living the Dream said...

I especially love when you write about the transition period. I, too,feel like I have had two lives. Not reincarnation or anything, but my first twenty years as an adult have been so different than the last twenty. The Lord is always faithful and I know that. If I stay focused more on Him than on what my friends have and do I am good. Once I start turning around and looking at choices I have made and how different things could have been I get discouraged. I am so thankful to have found a sweet friend with lots of similarities. Your writing is truly a blessing for me.

jillybee123 said...

Brenda,

I am sorry about Sasha. I understand the pain and tears you are going through. My family and I have had many pets over the years, but 1 cat "Kilo" and 1 dog "Cuddles" both lived with us for over 18 years. They are still missed.
I believe God was giving you some peace by your memories of your time by the pond. I look forward to reading more. My own life has been a bit crazy lately and finally the light bulb went off and I realized how badly I had put God on the back burner. Life does tend to get crazy without God!

Thank you so much for the video of Give Me Jesus. That has been my favorite song(and think of it more as a prayer being sung)since I first heard it. I came across it reading Ruth Graham Lotz's book, Give Me Jesus. Watching it brought back wonderful memories of my Grandma Faye who taught me to love Jesus and who so enjoyed listening to Billy Graham.

May Jesus continue to hold you and give you the peace you need in the days ahead.

Jilly

Suze said...

I'm with you Nana Trish - I have times when all I can do is beat myself up for the stupid decisions I've made.

((((((Brenda)))))) - I like to believe that my animals will be in heaven to run to me when I get there. At the rate I've been going, I should have quite a menagerie waiting......

Diana said...

Thinking of you and your family . It will be a while to heal , but you know that . You are definitely a wise woman. So what if you sleep a little longer. That is blessed healling time. As always, you also give me a reminder of the faith that I have and the connection I have to God and to remember to rely on him . Also a diabetic, I'm currently dealing with 2 seperate types of infections. I need to remember to ask for help in healing and symptom relief.

Anonymous said...

We are in transition at this moment. Towards what we are not sure. Some decisions we can make on it and others are made for us. Isen't that they way all of life is anyway? I get scared then have to say to myself "God is still in control". We can only do what we can each day.. then the next. I always loved the Bing Crosby record Count Your Blessings...the one that goes.."When you're worried and you can't sleep, just count your blessings instead of sheep..and you'll fall asleep counting your blessings." Isen't that the truth. Also liked the song Smile. So many of life's moments just pass right over our radar so to speak. We don't even see the hundreds of blessing we have received. That car that could have hit you but they noticed you at the last minute, the virus that just got whiped off that door handle before you grabbed it etc. Stupid examples but you understand. Then there are the many times you know you were blessed. Many of us could have even died several times but didn't. So many blessings pouring down. We may not have much but we surely have more than a lot of people in this world do...etc. It sure is good to hear someone tell of how God brought them out like you do Brenda. I cannot tell you what a blessing you are to my life Brenda. Thankyou again for using your talents here. You sure have a loyal fan club with all of us for sure!! As you see from all who write you touch many lives. Also I want to add I just noticed I Hope You Dance on your play list. I didn't have a speaker for a while and so haden't played your play list for a while...SO glad to see this one there too! You are right again that when you love your pets you never forget them..then again they are another sweet blessing aren't they..:) Jody

Brenda Leyland said...

What a heart-felt posting. That you are getting the courage to write about your year by the pond (and all that means to you) seems to indicate that healing is at work. How He loves to fashion beauty from those ash heaps in our lives! What hope that brings.

I'm looking forward to reading your Isaac posting.

And I'm sending purry hugs and thoughts as you think of Sasha running through the flowers.