I should have mentioned in the beginning that my husband's sister is considered "high functioning Aspergers". She is highly intelligent and articulate, having a degree in library science and working in a library for most of her adult life until she was fired about six months ago (which is what started this recent downfall).
Even with her intelligence, the library would never let her work in a position dealing directly with patrons as she was emotionally unstable and prone to outbursts of anger. She has basically always worked shelving books. She would have been fired long ago but her other brother and a cousin (both social workers) worked with the library heads to overlook as much as possible.
She was fired after a "three strikes you are out" ruling when she blew up and yelled at a customer. Yes, she can be dangerous in many ways... she once slapped me and threw me into a wall (when Stephanie was a child). I had just walked into her parents house and for some reason (I never found out why) her anger toward me had been simmering and unfortunately she decided I needed to be dealt with.
Which is why I never allowed either of my children to be alone with her after that and I kept my distance at all family functions.
She was also the cause of my mother-in-law's death (and my mother-in-law's best friend). She was driving her mother and friend home from a birthday party when she became very angry at her mother (she told us what happened later and it was in the police report).
Because she doesn't think clearly during a meltdown, she turned their car to go into a vegetable stand (which had something to do with the argument) and caused a head on collision, killing family and causing serious injury to a woman in the oncoming car.
What my husband and brother-in-law are trying to do is get her in a position where she is willing to go to the hospital and get medical help. Technically she has been homeless now for months but she has been living with friends, none of whom want anything to do with her anymore after having to live with her. Both women have called here in tears and the one friend whom she had been living with for a couple of months said she was not to come back in the house. The police are driving by regularly to make sure she is not going near the house.
I hadn't planned on sharing so much (as there are parts of my life I do like to keep private) but comments made me realize people were not understanding as to why we were letting her "reach bottom". Her brother who is a social worker has been trying to get her in a home for years where she can be on her own but have someone looking after her at the same time. This is not going to happen until she comes face to face with the reality of her situation.
Yes it is true that "there for the grace of God go I" but when one is dealing with a person who has made a lifetime of bad decisions (there is so much more one could share but I choose not to) one must use good judgement. As my husband told a friend recently, she tries to bring people down into the "vortex" with her... where she is chaos follows.
As for me, I've decided not to share anything more about it. I'm rather sorry I did in the first place but it is such a huge part of our life right now.
Tomorrow I will write about zucchini.