Sunday, November 02, 2008

Sunday Afternoon Tea

I often receive the same statement from comments and e-mails. People are either surprised or thanking me (or both) that I'm so honest about my life, my trials, etc. It always makes me smile because this is the very reason that I blog... to share... to teach... to know we are not alone.

I've been writing for a long time now and through the years, many have encouraged me to write a book about the experiences we have been through and what we have learned along the way. Whenever I prayed about it, I heard that still small voice say... write. Not a book and not articles but just... write.

It wasn't until Stephanie told me about this whole blog thing and "encouraged" (pushed) me into blogging that I understood what He had been saying all these years. Just write. Sometime in this past two weeks, I passed my 1,000th post. That's a lot of just writing. :)

These past few months have been quite difficult as once again, I found myself in the midst of a perfect storm situation with difficult circumstances, health concerns, and catastrophic finances all combining to cause hurricane force winds coming against my faith and at times... my sanity. Since my children have questioned my sanity for years, I suppose the storms have mainly come against my faith... and hope.

Yesterday I completely forgot to take my first insulin shot of the morning. Both the first and the last shots are not combined with food to remind me and Saturday morning found me completely off my usual schedule. (I have my cell phone alarm set at 8:00 PM each night to remind me to take my last shot.)

I was sitting at the computer close to noon when it hit me... I'd forgotten that shot. It's not one to forget as the two shots of long term insulin, taken twelve hours apart, act as a foundation to the other three shots taken before each meal. I immediately took my blood sugar readings and they were astronomical. Between that error and fighting an infection, I decided not to work tomorrow at the bookstore (as offered) since my immune system is already compromised. Silly me.

I was thinking later in the day how my faith acts as an anchor in the storm, just as the long term insulin works to anchor the other shots. It was just a word picture that came to me as I was complaining to the Lord after finding out our car's problem was actually the transmission and that means... we park it and depend on Old Faithful. Sigh... yet another financial hit and that coming after my stove gave me problems yesterday morning. We won't even talk about possible election results.

You see, I've been so busy that I've been running on last week's quiet times. My prayers have been mostly "HELP" and "Please protect "insert family member" today". When one is facing hurricane force storms against their faith, one needs more than passing prayers and a promise box.

I sat in church this morning, alone in my thoughts as communion was offered. I felt such peace and thankfully... the return of hope. One of the songs we sang during communion was Above All and I pondered the verses...

Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

He is in control. Whatever the election results. Whatever storms come our way. Whatever circumstances we find ourselves in are those of our family members. He is on the throne.

It is only when I try to live my life without the true Foundation each day that the winds can blow me into despair or doubt. He is on the throne. For that, I am eternally thankful.

I may reach Heaven out of breath, having used every ounce of faith given for the journey... but I'll reach it and stand before Him someday having walked the course and kept the faith because He is on the Throne. I will lay my crown at His feet, knowing full well that He was the Foundation that kept me on the journey. :)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

All I can say is another thankyou...thankyou for heeding the Father's call to write and thankyou for being yourself and writing from your heart to us. I love that song too and it brings such calm. He has been there before time began,..is with us now and will ever be there. Just breath and know He is in charge of it all, our nation and the whole universe. I get off course and tense with all this election and other discussions around us. It is amazing how quickly singing songs of praise will lighten and bring you back to what is real and true. Jody

Anonymous said...

All I can say is another thankyou...thankyou for heeding the Father's call to write and thankyou for being yourself and writing from your heart to us. I love that song too and it brings such calm. He has been there before time began,..is with us now and will ever be there. Just breath and know He is in charge of it all, our nation and the whole universe. I get off course and tense with all this election and other discussions around us. It is amazing how quickly singing songs of praise will lighten and bring you back to what is real and true. Jody

Anonymous said...

As always, I love your transparency. Singing calms my heart and reminds me where my focus needs to be. Your words have so encouraged me...cathy

Angela said...

I will lay my crown at His feet, knowing full well that He was the Foundation that kept me on the journey. :)
amen amen amen
Thank you also for your faithfulness,AND obedience to Christ in sharing from your heart. It's just amazing how God brings His children together, how He leads one to find another. He lead me to you. Our lives are connected not only through the internet, but our faith in Jesus, and our circumstances. My husband's health issues (border line diabetic), loss of finances, car problems, your stove and my fridge,,lol. I think we are on the same 'boat',,I do praise God we are on the same journey together. Please know I am covering your family and you in prayers. ((hugs))

shadesofwhite said...

I find that one very important key in my life is meditation. I have always read my Bible and prayed, but when I take the time to pray deeply, seek God's face, place before God all that is on my mind and ask for his guidance and sit there quietly, allowing the Spirit to help me sift through my thoughts--that is when I find answers to the un-answerable and find peace in pain and chaos. He is Faithfull.

Thanks for your blog!
Jean

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

What more can a woman of faith say? You said it so well! May you get some quiet times of refreshing today...

Susan B said...

Thank you Brenda,
This is a lovely post. Thank you for your honesty as you share your heart. I've been praying for this election, but I have to say today I was starting to get nervous about it, and worried. Thank you for focusing my eyes where they should be. God is always in control, in all circumstances. Thank you for the reminder. Please take care and feel better. God bless.

Quinne said...

Hi Brenda :) You have such a lovely way of writing your heart.

Thanks for the encouragement and also for your prayers this week.

Praying with/for you, too! Love, Q

Kelly said...

I'm sorry you are facing so many difficulties, but rejoice in the fact that you know and trust in the Lord. He will be your strength, your healing, your comfort and your peace. I will pray for you.

I do not know if you are older than me or not, but you are certainly wiser, and I greatly appreciate your writings and gain knowledge and blessing each time I visit your blog. God bless you.

gail said...

He says to you.

'' I will never leave or forsake you. "

You are so special and such an inspiration. Many who read your messages each day are in need of hearing just what you say. God's hand is certainly guiding your hands as you write each day.

Thankyou Gail

the pleasures of homemaking said...

I like so many others are very happy that you listened to the call to write! I've always enjoyed your blog immensely!

I'm sorry you are facing so many difficulties. It does seem like you have had a lot of things hit at once! Have you thought of ebaying or selling books on Amazon as a way of generating a little more money? Maybe Christopher can take care of getting the items to the post office for you since he has to go to school anyway? I just started listing a few things on ebay again to make some extra Christmas money.

Take care of yourself!

xo,

Manuela