Thursday, August 07, 2008

In which she lets you know she is alive but groggy

It was a night I am glad is behind me but we all made it. Hubby did come with us, even though he usually doesn't leave home when the mold count is so high. When we were driving back on the county road that leads to our home... next to a forest... dark and spooky... I was very happy to have someone in the car with me.

I ended up sleeping for a couple of hours with Christopher waking me that his friend is "about an hour" out on the Interstate. We packed all of his stuff in the car and headed to a nearby town. I am not out and about at 1:30 in the morning very often. This route is usually abounding with cars and semis but for the most part, we were all alone on the drive there and back again.

We arrived at the Denny's before his friend and hubby and I each had a cup of (very expensive) coffee. I had the real thing with warnings from the guys that I wouldn't be able to sleep but I knew I needed the caffeine just to drive home. Even though we had no intention of ordering food, we perused the Denny's menu and had sticker shock... yikes! It has always been on the pricey side but now their breakfast entrees are around $7.60 (slightly more or less). I know where I won't be eating out...

We arrived back home about 2:30 and I was wide awake. I took two Benedryl and watched a cute episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8, which is the cutest show. This was the episode where Dad took one of the kids to the Strasburg Train Museum, where we went when we were in Lancaster County. I only started watching this show after seeing it recommended on a blog I trust. It is so much fun, imagine having twins and then sextuplets? God, in His infinite wisdom, gave me two kids twelve years apart. It seemed strange at the time but now I understand. :)

Once the Benedryl kicked in, I not only went to sleep but had a hard time waking up at 9:00 this morning when my husband was telling me I'd better not sleep any later. I said a quick prayer for Christopher and his friends (another car load started at the same time for Baltimore from the Florida Keys). Now, I have to tell you, this was completely out of my comfort zone.

I really wanted to tell Christopher that he couldn't go but I didn't for two reasons. First, he is eighteen and doesn't need my permission. Second (and most important), he's a young man and he needs to take chances and get out of his comfort zone. I know most moms have a hard time letting go but homeschool moms are constantly battling the emotions of holding their boys too close as opposed to growing men. My mother was the queen of worry and it is something I battled for years. It is also an area where God has given me grace, learning to put my family in His capable hands.

Even last night as I drifted off to sleep, I did what I so often do in this situation (with both my now grown kids)... I remember back to each dedication ceremony where my husband and I gave them back to the Lord to use as He will. It helps when one of them is taking a risk, or living 1,000 miles away. :)

So, what is in store for me today? I still haven't recovered my pre-abscess strength so I haven't planned anything strenuous. I'll do some decluttering and the usual household maintenance. I bought a beautiful lace tablecloth at the thrift store for $1.00 recently. It has a couple small holes that I want to mend, a perfect project for a foggy brain day. I need to use some peaches I bought over the weekend and they have peach pie written all over them... I can see it in little letters. :)

I've promised my hubby to make some of his favorites for dinner that Christopher can't stand, like ham and bean soup. The ham bone from Easter is in the freezer! It will be a nice, cheap meal that he can use for a couple of lunches, too.

Yawn... my brain is foggy. I need another cup of coffee. Now. Perhaps this afternoon I'll be able to do some reading as well as baking... if the caffeine kicks in. The things we do for our children. Speaking of whom, I will be quite relieved to get a call this afternoon that he arrived safe and sound.

Print: Cookbook and Apples Poster; allposters.com

11 comments:

cheri said...

As the mother of 3 homeschool boys (now ages 28, 26 and 20) I can testify that the investment of sleepless, prayer-filled hours while they are on overseas mission trips or other equally adventerous journeys are well worth they faith and trust (and memories) they build in the guys. And in me.

Sorry for the long run-on sentence. I must be groggy too. :)

Tracy said...

I love watching Jon & Kate - Plus 8! My three children are all nearly 4 years apart. They are 15, almost 12, and 8 now. :)

Hope you feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

< I know most moms have a hard time letting go but homeschool moms are constantly battling the emotions of holding their boys too close as opposed to growing men. >

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You for this.
My oldest child is a son of almost 16 years, and just this past spring our close relationship began to fade at a rapid pace. He is shutting me out of his life all of a sudden, and the pain is breaking my heart, as well as causing me lots of tears. I never saw this coming.
I don't know what to expect in the future, or how to relate to him now. He wants me to give him more freedom than I'm comfortable with, and basically doesn't want anything to do with me.
What happened?
I'd sure appreciate some advice on this. I'm completely lost on this one. (And there are two more boys right on his heels!!)

Anonymous said...

I also remember releasing my 4 sons slowly and know it is wise to let them go...but prayerfully. My boys somewhere between 12 and 14 pulled away from me and seemed more interested in their father. Broke my heart too. Thankfully they have a godly father who picked up where I left off. A frank talk with them is helpful and will let you share how you are feeling and try to reach his heart. When we were overseas for some years and they were back in the states for college, my prayer was for GOD to send a godly man to teach them and encourage them in the right ways, in areas I had missed. What a blessing that man was to our whole family! Pray for wisdom in your circumstances and GOD will hear and answer. We raise our sons to be men...not boys.

~~Deby said...

I know of these kinds of sacrifices we do for our children...it is so worth it..it is...and I don't think we ever stop caring deeply...but I do have to work at giving situations and things over to the Lord.

Now..John and Kate...we don't watch it in my house. My husband does not like the way that she talks to him and the whole situation per se'. He thinks they are to dysfunctional.....we do watch Little People here and there, but they kind of make me crazy as their house is way to chaotic for me and I don't think their children respect them...at lease that's my .02 worth....
I guess truly there is hardly NO good T.V.
I am glad you are home safe and sound and will join you in prayer for these young people.
~~Deby
I am with you on the caffeine...it does come from a bean, which is a legume..so it MUST be healthy for you,right? ;-)

~~Deby said...

I know of these kinds of sacrifices we do for our children...it is so worth it..it is...and I don't think we ever stop caring deeply...but I do have to work at giving situations and things over to the Lord.

Now..John and Kate...we don't watch it in my house. My husband does not like the way that she talks to him and the whole situation per se'. He thinks they are to dysfunctional.....we do watch Little People here and there, but they kind of make me crazy as their house is way to chaotic for me and I don't think their children respect them...at lease that's my .02 worth....
I guess truly there is hardly NO good T.V.
I am glad you are home safe and sound and will join you in prayer for these young people.
~~Deby
I am with you on the caffeine...it does come from a bean, which is a legume..so it MUST be healthy for you,right? ;-)

Kelly said...

Oh my Mom was was and still is the Queen of worry, and I, fortunate as I am, have inherited her trait!So being in only my second year of homeschooling ( my kids are 6 and 13 ) I find comfort in knowing that someday down the road I may be able to let go a bit too! Thank you for sharing your experiences!!

kelly

my house by the river said...

Dear Brenda,

I am so glad you and your husband made it back safe and sound.

As a mother of two boys, which I am homeschooling, I also feel the same way about letting them go, but like you said, they do belong to our Lord. We must trust that He will keep them safe. Just like He is keeping Christopher and his friends safe.

I hope you had a blessed day!

mari

cheri said...

Brenda, I hope you don't mind if I use your comment space here to respond to anonymous.

Yes, boys do pull away. At least our three did. In my eyes. And they all three wanted to do stuff that we weren't comfortable with, but as long as thing weren't illegal or immoral, we gave them a measure of freedom. And yes, it did sometimes make us uncomfortable.

If they balked at curfews, we pointed out that even though their parents could stay out all night long if they wished, they didn't...out of respect for the rest of the family.

Mission trips? Those can be as much of a faith-stretching experience for the parents as for the children. We have no regrets for allowing our boys to go to Mexico, Czech Republic, Peru...DOWNTOWN CHICAGO... :)

It helps to keep the end goal in mind. We had a 60+ year old neighbor who still lived with his mother. Nice man, but not what we wanted for our boys.

We wanted them to be godly, responsible, independent young men.
They learn these qualities a step at a time. For example each of them had minor fender bender types of accidents during their first few months of driving. They learned that the responsibility of driving a car is a tremendous thing. No one got hurt, (except for the boys' wallets they had to pay the deductible in each case). We were grateful for the lessons they learned that no amount of nagging from us could have taught them.

Now that they are 28, 26 and 20, they are each living in different states from us. They call, email or text several times a week. They read my blog to find out how the old folks are doing. They are the greatest guys!

We had some sleepless nights along the way...but our faith muscles grew.

Sorry, this is so long, I am praying that your relationship with your son will be restored. It will never be the same as when he was a little boy...but it can still be great!

Raewyn said...

Brenda,

My, that made me yawn just to read of your 1:30 drive! :) Thank you for letting us know you're alive and blogging, even if a bit groggy. ;)

Hee hee, we love Jon and Kate plus 8! We watch it all the time in our house...yes, she does "talk" to him in...dulcent tones, but we love it anyway.

Here's hoping you'll catch up on your sleep! And keeping Christopher in my prayers...

Grace

freetobeme - Anita said...

I'm so glad to know your husband went with you. I prayed that he would. I can still remember the days I let go of two of our sons. Hmmm, that might make an interesting blog! I'll see. Thanks for sharing your life journey.