Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Repeating... Dad and the Ditch Lilies

This is a repeat of a post I wrote for Father's Day last year. The mental "trigger" is the same this year as last... the blooming of the lilies these past few days. They are not only in my yard but there are hundreds of them in ditches on the country road I take into town and back. They will always remind me of my wonderful father, whom I lost way too soon. So, here is the post from Father's Day, 2007.

I normally don't post twice on Sunday but today was different. Father's Day always brings back memories of my own dad. Today was no different. However, it wasn't only the Holiday that made me think of was the blooming of the daylilies this past week.

I don't have a lot of clear memories of my father since he passed away suddenly when I was only ten years old. However, one memory that I have shared with my husband and children is the clearest of all...that of Dad and the ditch lilies.

We lived in an old farmhouse when I was a small child. It had only enough land for a few animals, some chickens, and a huge garden. It sat across from a grain elevator, at the corner where two gravel roads met. We had a few neighbors, mostly other smallish houses, what we would call "hobby farms" these days. Between us and the various towns in different directions, there were some "real farms" where one would find acres and acres of tall stalks of corn growing each summer.

Train tracks separated our house and the tall grain elevator. To this day, I love the sound of the train whistles in the distance. You don't hear them much around here anymore. I remember taking walks with my dad along those roads when the evening had cooled enough to make the gravel more comfortable...for they can get quite hot for little feet. Dad was around 6'2" or 6'3" tall and I was but a little girl when we lived on this gravel road. So it probably is understandable that my memories of both him and daylilies are that they were both huge!

We didn't call them daylilies in our neck of the woods...they were always known as ditch lilies, for they grew wild in the ditches each summer. That's why I was thinking of him this week. It wasn't the gorgeous yellow daylilies growing along our backyard fence, nor the orange lilies next to the house, both planted by previous owners. It wasn't the lilac colored daylilies my husband planted this year. No, it was the old fashioned deep orange daylilies growing in the ditches on the roads I travel most of the time...the roads that take me "to the country". The same kind of lilies that sent us out for a walk in the evening...on gravel roads.

My dad was not an educated man as such. He only finished 8th grade, a practice very common to men of that and previous generations. Back then, many boys had to leave their formal schooling at that age to begin working. However, he knew a lot about the important things of life like flowers, and building things, stopping on trips to take pictures of animals in the field and whatever else grabbed his attention, hunting, fishing, and how to love daughters. People who knew him used to talk about his kindness.

I've been told many times that he cried when I was born because he had wanted a little girl so badly. Since this was a second marriage for both (he being divorced many years and my mother a widow with seven children when they married), and mom was well into her 40s, my siblings thought their mother had died giving birth only to find out he was crying because they had a little girl!

I only had him around for ten years but I learned a lot from him. Not so much in formal learning but the kind that is absorbed by small children, those lessons we pick up when the older folks don't know children are looking and listening. I've been called a kind person, that's definitely from Dad. I love flowers, gardens, creeks, and small creatures of the woods...definitely from Dad...although I prefer to admire the small creatures from a distance rather than having them for dinner. :)

I never had a chance to say goodbye but I've prayed for years that in the hours Dad knew he was dying, he remembered the Gospel and made peace with his Creator. How I would love to know that the tall, gentle man with the hands calloused from "building things" would be there waiting for his girl. I'm certain God will let there be plenty of ditch lilies in Heaven.


Heather said...


Our dads sound so alike. I lost my dad when I was 16. What a wonderful memory you have of him!

Love, Heather

freddie said...

Thank you so much Brenda!! And thank to your father too!!
Shall God bless you always and have your father with Him!!
PS:thank you again!

freddie said...

Thank you so much Brenda!! And thank to your father too!!
Shall God bless you always and have your father with Him!!
PS:thank you again!

Anonymous said...

A beautiful heartfelt tribute that I enjoyed reading once again.

nanatrish said...

I lost my daddy at 11 so I think we are like kindred spirits. I believe it makes you into a certain kind of person losing a parent so young. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man and you got such great traits from him. I really enjoyed reading about him. Your lillies are gorgeous.

freetobeme said...

What a wonderful tribute to your dad. I can't identify because my dad lived to be just 4 days shy of his 96th birthday. Thank you for sharing with us. I've written a tribute to my dad too. If I print it would you read it? I'd like it if you did.

Anonymous said...

Dee from Tennessee

I, too, have prayed many times that a loved one made peace with God and accepted Jesus before they passed away. I think that they did, but how I regret that I just didn't ask before they passed away. I guess the biggest regret of my life. Thanks for such a sweet post.

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

I was here a few days ago and read this to a friend. We were both so touched by it. Your words flow so beautifully and, read aloud, we could really see the beauty of your prose. What a blessing to have had such a father. I wish that he had been here on this earth for longer.

Firefly Nights said...

This was a very nice piece about your father. I'm sorry you lost him when you were so young, but you have wonderful memories. And, memories seem to get more important the older we get.