It's interesting how blog titles become so sensible when one is not at her own computer. I've come to think my true creativity is linked in some way with that mouse. Perhaps it is because laptops make me think of working instead of thinking. Hmmm... that didn't come out right, did it? :)
Christopher's friends picked him up for the "Guy's Monday Night Bible Study" so once the dinner dishes were washed, I just happened to find myself in his room and at his computer. I figure since it took me over a year to recover from his birth, I deserve the use of his laptop. Speaking of his birthday, it is on Thanksgiving this year! I haven't quite figured out how we'll celebrate but this is number 18 and he's been looking forward to it for a very long time.
Remember when I wrote last that I was having "one of those weeks"? Well, just a couple hours after posting, I was putting away one of my big stock pots on the garage shelves when it knocked over a small sack, which fell onto the shelves which I use as my food/grocery pantry and knocked over a bottle of Worcestershire sauce... a glass bottle... onto the cement floor... brown and gooey Worcestershire sauce all over the floor (not to mention glass everywhere) and finding the way to boxes and other "stuff". Never, I repeat... never, say things couldn't get any worse. Especially if you haven't had to clean Worcestershire sauce off of a garage floor. Thankfully my husband keeps plenty of old towels for use at times such as this and he did the initial clean up for me. I went back and swept glass... twice... and threw away everything it made contact with. Yuk...
It is at those times I look up and ask Him just what is it He is mad at me about? Of course, most often He reminds me it is just gravity and a poorly placed bottle and has nothing to do with Him being angry. Still, if you had any idea what this week was like it has me wondering. Sheesh...
So, how did I regain some sanity and peace? I pulled a Scarlett O"Hara and "took to my bed", even we Midwestern women know the wisdom of doing that once in awhile. I spent part of Sunday in my bed with my Bible, a couple really good "teaching' books (Elizabeth George and Nancy Leigh DeMoss), my two favorite devotionals, my notebook/journal, some old Victorias, the new Victoria, and the latest issue of Tea Time, the Joel Rosenberg book I was finishing and his latest book in the series... which I began. I also took a handful of chocolate kisses from the candy dish in the Living Room. I was desperate. I must admit, it felt delicious and decadent (how my daughter would enjoy such a day but with four little children...).
Did it help? Definitely! My entire outlook changed because of my time spent crying out for peace, wisdom, help, sanity in the midst of insane circumstances, forgiveness for others, forgiveness for myself, and the realization that in the long run... only God truly understands. I may get frustrated with humans at times but it is only God who knows the heart and can heal it when it is wounded or breaking. Only the Word could bring me that kind of peace... Then there is the R&R brought by delicious magazines, great books, and chocolate. I didn't even feel like making myself tea but those chocolate kisses were certainly helpful.
Pity parties don't do us any good. For awhile last week, I felt like I didn't have any friends at all. I felt like no one understood the challenges I was facing. I let myself think of all the negatives and how I felt God had let me down as I stomped my feet and told Him that He didn't live up to the bargain. This was not the life I signed up for when I read the Four Spiritual Laws.
However, it was my Best Friend who gave me the idea of a day at my own B&B. I wonder if it was His idea for the car to break down Saturday morning and me have to stay at home... quiet and still... continuing through today? Perhaps it was His blessing rather than another crisis. I remember one of Ruth Graham's children writing that Jesus was truly her mother's best friend. He truly met me when I needed Him the most.
This morning, we all slept in (since the car is still in the shop). About mid-morning, my son knocked on my bedroom door and asked what I was doing. I told him I was having a quiet time so I could be sweet and nice. He told me not to stop what I was doing. Hmmm... I think he's figuring it out, the more time I spent with my Best Friend, the better Mom he has.
I'm sorry I can't share too much, it has a lot to do with my husband's illness and how others relate to it (and don't understand). Add to that multiple items breaking down, my son going through his own trials right now, and the sinus headaches from the change of seasons... sigh. God is good my friends. No matter what our circumstances... even when we store our condiments too close to the edge of the shelf. :)