I overslept just a bit this morning, enough to make it necessary to go into overdrive to make it to co-op in time for my son's first class. As I dropped him off and headed to the nearest McDonald's (for coffee and to go over the notes for my 10:00 class), I could tell the tension was growing in my shoulders and neck...a barometer of the stress level in my life.
There is no one major source of tension but many little foxes that have been getting to me lately. Too many errands, health challenges, responsibilities large and small, talking to my son about relationship challenges in his life and how we are going to pay for classes this next year...burdens that one by one I have been accepting and holding onto.
Some things did have to be dealt with immediately like exploding Pyrex dishes and laundry on my living room chairs that needed folding and put away. But as I drove to McDonald's for much needed coffee, I started thinking about the burdens I had taken upon myself that were unnecessary.
Most of them are challenges I can only pray over and "let them go"...those regarding health and finances. For there is nothing I can do to change the situation. I can try to eat healthier, exercise and spend even less but I can't control rising grocery store and energy prices. I still can't get used to the price of gasoline jumping a quarter per gallon overnight...sigh.
I know my son is feeling disappointed that there are friendships and situations in his life letting him down, troubling him to the extent that he can't get them out of his mind. I am very glad he shares them with me. But I can't change them. Those experiences he is going through are common to young people that age.
Decisions are being made as to character as well as life's path. From his first scrape as a toddler on a playground to now, these are his battles that must be fought. Taking them on myself will only add to my own burden. I have enough challenges that are my responsibility. I give advice and pray but I take those burdens off of my shoulders (easier said than done). Dealing with them is necessary for him to continue to grow as a young adult.
Some situations resolved themselves by the end of the day...trouble getting a prescription filled was taken care of after (what seems) hours on the phone, my class notes were put together and editorials printed off in time to teach this morning, a couple loads of laundry were done, the ingredients for soup was assembled and simmering on the stove before they "went bad" in the refrigerator, the package with books was sent on its' way to delightful children in New England...a temporary overload of the "gotta do's".
However, many of the burdens I've been feeling were brought about by my own decisions. I was away from home far too often this past week. Those daily responsibilities at home are only a burden when they pile up. I enjoy cooking and keeping the house looking pretty but stress rears its' ugly face (and neck muscles tighten) when I'm playing a game of catch up by doing yesterday's work along with today's. I only have enough energy for today.
I've found health and money challenges normally work out.. Relationship challenges are taken care of one way or another. Kid's grow up to be adults and (prayerfully) have been taught what it takes physically, emotionally, and spiritually to walk through life.
Tomorrow I look forward to slowly arising and enjoying my first cup of coffee with my Bible and my well worn leather edition of My Utmost For His Highest. I will turn my burdens over to the only One who can solve them. I will take my time vacuuming and sweeping, polishing, washing, drying, and doing all those things that come together to bring about a cozy place to live. When all is finished and the last dinner dish put away, I will brew tea and curl up with a great book and reflect on how I let myself get so burdened in the first place.
Life...when lived one day at a time...works...and His mercies are new every morning.