Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Am I still a people pleaser?

Something happened this past Sunday that made me realize I continue to have a lot of maturing ahead. I was having a difficult time getting ready for church and all I wanted to do was stay at home and rest. After about thirty minutes of mentally arguing with myself (aren't you glad I don't argue with myself out loud?), it came to me that nowhere in this self-discussion did I even think of worshipping the Lord. Nope...nodda...not once did I think of what Sunday morning is all about. Instead I was thinking..."What would people say if I didn't show up? After all, I've missed so much lately".

I thought my people pleasing days were behind me. To be honest, I didn't have that problem in my former corporate life. I guess it's because there, when people would say something against me, I could hide behind a title or job description and not take it personally. However, I've also been on staff in a couple of churches and I tell ya...they will tear you apart. I would walk on eggshells to try to please everyone and then be surprised when there was someone who still found fault. In our family, my husband and I went out of our way to make decisions we thought would please others...and they rarely did, anyway.

I tried to develop a thick skin over the years and I thought I had...until Sunday.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are times we do need to care what others think. For instance, is the way we dress honoring God? Is our talk edifying to others? Does our lifestyle indicate the presence of Christ in our life? our home? We do need to ponder such questions.

But when I'm wondering if I should stay at home when I'm not feeling well because of what another person may say (and to tell you the truth, I don't know of anyone in my church that would say anything!)...there is a lot more growing spiritually needed in this area.

I must answer only to God and my husband about decisions made. I'll even give my children the benefit of the doubt and ask their advice on serious decisions because I like them, admire them, and when you think of it...I trained them! I'll seek counsel from my pastor as well as friends whom I know will be honest with me...when I need such input.

But to argue with myself if I should stay home when I'm sick because of what "people" might think? Sheesh, Brenda...what were you thinking?


Anonymous said...

This is a common reflection many of us face. We all would do well remember God as also being emotionally thrilled to see our obedience; not just because He is Sovereign. We will have to deal with our human nature the whole time we live here on Earth! However, He is most gracious in 'our' learning of what is important. Good post. Thank you for your courage in typing it.

Anonymous said...


I agree with heartthought's response.

I do pray your time at home was fruitful in resting and relying on Him.

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

Hehehe, deleted comment was from me. I really do need to proofread before typing.

Well, if there is one thing I know, the real me comes out through blogging. What you see is truly what you get. :)

Thoughts on Life and Millinery. said...

Our Bible study group played a game once. We were a group of five couples,and two singles. We met weekly.

The game went like this:
One person would be sent out of the room, then from the remaining group, another person was chosen to leave the area.

The first person then was called to return to the room, and everyone would start counting as the first person would try to say who was no longer present.

We were astonished to find that NO ONE (except my husband) could identify who was missing in under a minute of serious trying.

My husband figured out to match couples and could figure out who was missing that way.

Lesson learned: Actually, you won't be missed from a group.
I have used THAT little piece of information to my advantange more than once! And added it to the awe that God keeps track of all of us AND the silly hairs on our heads!

Candy said...

Worrying about what others that is something I have to really work on. I need to mature in this area BIG TIME. I do not have thick skin at all.
I do get hurt easily and take way too many things personally. I have asked God to help me with this and actually over the last 3-4 years I have gotten much better. But, I still have a bit of ways to go.
I even almost closed my blog over something someone said.. silly hey :(
Oh, to be mature and wiser...

Thanks for this post,