Mid-course corrections

And after long years of spiritual homelessness, of nostalgia, here is that mystic loveliness of childhood again. Here is home. An old thread, long tangled, comes straight again. -Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

I love walking into my home. After living here almost a year, it becomes more like me everyday. My home is an extension of my personality and that of my family. No where else on this planet contains the museum of my life and the ones I love. From the books on the shelves (many books...many shelves), to the choice of furniture, the collections, the photographs of family both here and long passed, the furry members of our family, the colors, the scents, the choice of food in the pantry...all coming together to create the story of the family living within the walls of the "little house at the edge of the woods".

Yet, I haven't been spending much time in my home lately. I've spent more time in the car and waiting...waiting at libraries, McDonald's, Panera, Barnes & Noble, Goodwill, and wherever I can combine errands with...waiting. Along with the waiting while my son is at the junior college and fencing, there is the homeschool co-op on Tuesday where I teach and my son attends classes, church on Sunday, home group on Wednesday (those rare times I can make it) and my volunteer work at the library.

The schedule began to affect me first, as I found myself frustrated and agitated over the smallest of inconveniences. This is not the way I want to live my life. My husband took over driving at night (I have night blindness) which helped but only a wee bit. Now, the schedule is affecting the one who is the center of the craziness. He's realizing it has become more difficult to do anything well when the days are overflowing with classes, fencing, part-time job, volunteer work and studying. All of this craziness so he can "catch up" on math and science before graduating high school.

We had a chat today. I offered to pick him up on his lunch break from his part-time job at the bookstore on campus. I even offered to buy, which brought about a definite desire to have lunch with Mom. Over a McDonald's meal (not healthy but I didn't have much cash!), we talked about what he wanted out of life and where he believed God was leading him. We had to look at the decisions made at the beginning of this semester and where they had brought us. It seemed right at the time, adding the extra classes was a good idea.

Now, it was time to look ahead to next semester and see if this is such a good idea. Who are we trying to keep up with? Does he need to catch up so much advanced math immediately? Is there more we can study at home, as we used to do? Do we really want to live our life in the car "going to and from" all day? Many things to think about over coffee, Coke and cheeseburgers.

Our decision...let's go back home. We can continue with the co-op and the part-time job but we don't have to "keep up with the public school friends" by spending most of our days chasing windmills. I don't want to look back on our last two years of homeschooling with our only memories rushing from one class or event to another in the car, stopping only for fast food. It is time for a mid-course correction, the kind NASA has to perform on spaceships heading for their destination. If we don't, we will reach someone else's goal, not the one we set so long ago. It is so easy to slip on another's mantle, if only by admiring their results...but it is not ours.