Does homeschooling work for ADHD boys?

There were times I wondered through the years. My son gave me a lot of grey hairs in only the first six or seven years of his life. I've mentioned before, his severe ADHD symptoms are why we began our homeschool odyssey. Just in case you have never been around a boy with ADHD symptoms, they are the children whose mothers have bruises on their ankles, a panicked look on their faces as they try to find a child who can go from zero to sixty in two seconds, and an apology on their lips for the next person who comes up and tells them what "Jimmy just did".

I was the mother of a compliant, female-type, only child for twelve years. We'd struggled with carrying a child full term, infertility, hormone shots, and weekly visits to the doctor to be able to have our son. I thought God had made a BIG mistake, giving me "this child" at thirty-five. I can't begin to tell you the number of tears shed, just from sheer exhaustion.

So when we treaded into homeschooling waters, I read everything I could get my hands on at the time. That has always been my way of dealing with new...opportunities. I chose the Charlotte Mason method, not because of my son but because of me. It fit me, my temperament, and my way of doing things. Could it work for an ADHD boy? There were years I wondered. I learned to do a lot of reading out loud while he worked with his Lego's. I learned the best way to "do science" was in real life places, where little boys could get in dirt and feel real earth. I made mistakes with textbooks that set us back in math two years because I liked the pictures, forgetting too many pictures will not work with a child who cannot concentrate. I made good choices, I made bad choices. Fortunately, by learning all I could, I made a lot more good choices than those I regretted but it wasn't easy. I still remember the year we "homeschooled with mom on the sofa" due to illness. There is the year and a half period that we moved three times (two of them interstate moves).

There were moments I was gripped with fear, wondering if he would ever learn to read, ever learn to "do math", ever enjoy the process of learning because it was all so difficult for him. Perhaps I should have left him in school with the professionals. Perhaps I should not have fought the use of drugs. What if he gets in high school and can't read or write or...do anything? Perhaps I shouldn't have chosen to do this "Charlotte Mason" thing for a boy with ADHD just because I am a literary person.

Then I began to see changes, a little bit here, a little bit there. It seemed out of nowhere that the boy who couldn't read anything was reading French literature. The boy who could only calm down when playing computer games built his own computer. The same boy who could not stand still was winning debate competitions with his patience. The kid that gave me bruises on my legs now holds my arm when I cross the street, reminding me to watch for cars going fast.

The same child who made me cry with frustration as a toddler brought tears to my eyes recently. He described the profound impact the conference he attended this weekend made on his life. He talked about the interesting people he met, the way he knew God was speaking to his heart about his future. He would like to use his skills to help other people understand more about Christ, perhaps in the field of apologetics.

So for the mothers and fathers who wonder if "that boy" or "that girl" can ever grow up to be what they hope they can be...the answer is a definite...yes. God created that child and placed him in your home on purpose. He didn't make a mistake. He wouldn't have placed "that child" in any home where He also didn't give the grace, the knowledge and the opportunity for prayer. It is in the journey of raising this child that we parents grow closer to Him. After all, we are so often on our knees asking how to raise this boy or this girl.

I look back now at the beginning. There was no evidence when we started this journey that it would turn out the way it has. It was never easy. The process required hard work, patience, and a great deal of prayer. It isn't over, yet, but we're close enough to graduation that I can answer a definite...yes! Homeschooling does work for ADHD boys with lots of prayer and patience, one day at a time. Getting away for tea or a latte' once in awhile helps keep us going, too.